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You cannot have a Zen garden with the little rake and sand if you also have a cat. Trust me.
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10-25-2011 12:06 by
K-Mac
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You can always tell the pessimist on a cruise ship. He's the one wearing a shark suit the whole time.
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10-25-2011 10:16 by
Goodeolboy
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Facebook...this generations Rubiks Cube.
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10-25-2011 10:05 by
K-Mac
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@(O_O)@ Monkey.
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10-25-2011 10:03 by
natemorales
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When a relationship becomes too much work can you outsource it?
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10-25-2011 10:00
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Let's be sensitive this Halloween and not be rude. They are no longer "Ghosts", they are Apparition Americans.
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10-25-2011 09:54 by
K-Mac
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My lifetime ratio of bananas purchased to bananas eaten is running about 5 to 1.
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10-25-2011 09:16 by
Mick F
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So judging by their response, most folks around here don't shave their pubes.
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10-25-2011 08:45
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Sometimes I like to get behind one of the empty registers at WalMart and wait till someone puts all their junk on the belt and then say, "Sorry, this register is closed."
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10-25-2011 08:32
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going to bed early cause I've got some awesoming to do tomorrow.
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10-25-2011 08:31
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When I was a child I performed on TV for a very short time. Mom came in the living room, saw me up on it, and made me get down though.
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10-25-2011 08:30
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I'm not saying you're lazy, but you should try out for “American Idle"
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10-25-2011 04:16
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Sadly, even a "Hello Kitty" shaped turd would probably sell on eBay
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10-25-2011 03:44 by
Eric S.
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Guy: I love u. Girl: Aww really? Boy: Yep, Its my favorite vowel.
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10-25-2011 02:09 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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Wondering if your adopted because your the only sexy one in the family.
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10-25-2011 02:07 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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If I am ever in the middle of a shooting, I will just lay on the floor and act like someone already killed me.
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10-25-2011 02:05 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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"Hey, what's up?" "Gas prices." "You know what I mean, like.. What's crackin'?" "Nutshells." "Really? Fine. What's poppin'?" "Corn."
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10-25-2011 02:05 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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I dont have a problem with guys wearing white pointed shoes, just as long as they don't curl up, dude be looking like sum extra on the set of Aladdin.
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10-25-2011 01:16
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Redneck Magician , couldn't pull a rabbit out of his hat so he pulled a hare out of his bag
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10-25-2011 00:41
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ittle known fact: The toothbrush originated in Alabama. Everywhere else it was called a teethbrush.
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10-24-2011 23:42
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