Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon You cannot have a Zen garden with the little rake and sand if you also have a cat. Trust me.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 12:06 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can always tell the pessimist on a cruise ship. He's the one wearing a shark suit the whole time.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 10:16 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook...this generations Rubiks Cube.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 10:05 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon @(O_O)@ Monkey.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 10:03 by natemorales Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a relationship becomes too much work can you outsource it?
←Rate | 10-25-2011 10:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's be sensitive this Halloween and not be rude. They are no longer "Ghosts", they are Apparition Americans.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 09:54 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon My lifetime ratio of bananas purchased to bananas eaten is running about 5 to 1.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 09:16 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon So judging by their response, most folks around here don't shave their pubes.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 08:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I like to get behind one of the empty registers at WalMart and wait till someone puts all their junk on the belt and then say, "Sorry, this register is closed."
←Rate | 10-25-2011 08:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to bed early cause I've got some awesoming to do tomorrow.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 08:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a child I performed on TV for a very short time. Mom came in the living room, saw me up on it, and made me get down though.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 08:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying you're lazy, but you should try out for “American Idle"
←Rate | 10-25-2011 04:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sadly, even a "Hello Kitty" shaped turd would probably sell on eBay
←Rate | 10-25-2011 03:44 by Eric S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guy: I love u. Girl: Aww really? Boy: Yep, Its my favorite vowel.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 02:09 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wondering if your adopted because your the only sexy one in the family.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 02:07 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I am ever in the middle of a shooting, I will just lay on the floor and act like someone already killed me.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 02:05 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hey, what's up?" "Gas prices." "You know what I mean, like.. What's crackin'?" "Nutshells." "Really? Fine. What's poppin'?" "Corn."
←Rate | 10-25-2011 02:05 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dont have a problem with guys wearing white pointed shoes, just as long as they don't curl up, dude be looking like sum extra on the set of Aladdin.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 01:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Redneck Magician , couldn't pull a rabbit out of his hat so he pulled a hare out of his bag
←Rate | 10-25-2011 00:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ittle known fact: The toothbrush originated in Alabama. Everywhere else it was called a teethbrush.
←Rate | 10-24-2011 23:42 Comments (0)  



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