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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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"Don't Be Smart With Me!".... Okay Mom,.... i'll just be dumb. Sounds great
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10-26-2011 16:41 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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Lost your pen = no pen. No pen = no notes. No notes = no study. No study = fail. Fail = no diploma. So NEVER, EVER lose your pen
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10-26-2011 16:40 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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That depressing moment when your parents don't appreciate the hilarious child they have been blessed with :P
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10-26-2011 16:37 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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You can't be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn't work that way. You're already hard to want..." -Peter Griffin
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10-26-2011 16:37 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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Spongebob: hey can I talk with you for a second? Squidward: I dont know thats a pretty long time
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10-26-2011 16:31 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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"Are you as bored as I am?" Read that backwards, it still makes sense.
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10-26-2011 16:30 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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Guilty people answer questions with a question
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10-26-2011 16:29 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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I'm not shy, I'm holding back my awesomeness, so I don't intimidate you ;P
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10-26-2011 16:28 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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My life will not be complete until I've walked away from an explosion in slow motion
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10-26-2011 16:28 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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You can't face the problem, if the problem is your face.
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10-26-2011 15:28
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I shall open my own deli and my slogan will be: "No one beats my meat!"
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10-26-2011 15:26 by
KISSTOPHER
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Thank you exes I am the way I am because of u
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10-26-2011 15:21
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A new drug has been developed for lesbi@ns with depression. It's called "Trycoxagain"
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10-26-2011 15:04
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Mexican Word for the day is : CHICKEN ....Usage: "My wife wanted me to go to the store for her, but chicken go herself!"
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10-26-2011 15:02
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They had 16 and pregnant, now can we get an '18 and graduated' or '21 and Established?' Then again, y'all ain't gon watch that, shame.
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10-26-2011 14:44
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I attribute most of my good days to a couple of people with voodoo dolls canceling each other out.
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10-26-2011 13:52
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Note to self: Saying "Don't judge me!" doesn't go over well in court.
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10-26-2011 12:57
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I have to remind myself this weekend there will be many Halloween parties. So don't go by instinct and start shooting zombies in the head.
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10-26-2011 12:54 by
flinnie
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Do you think you could drive better if I shoved that cell phone up your @ss? Talk or Drive... PICK ONE!!
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10-26-2011 12:32 by
Dani
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My, what a lovely shade of slut you're wearing today...
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10-26-2011 12:11 by
R
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