Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Never piss off a woman on her period...scratch that...Never piss off a woman, period.

   The new craze: Corduroy pillows! They're making head lines.

   Remember those people that made lame jokes like "I miss my wife so I backed up and tried again"? I miss them.

   People always say that alcohol kills... but if you think about it .... it causes many births too.

   Maybe fake people will pretend to be real on Halloween.

   It used to be called a diary, unfortunately it's called Facebook now.

   Well I won the predometer challenge at work !! 70miles I did!!!woo hoo.. Prize??? 1 free Gym membership..ME!? GYM!? lol only machine I use in the Gym is the one selling Mars Bars,Crisps and Twix's !!!

   would avoid you like a redneck relative!!

   sometimes ya gotta dance with the devil to get out of hell!!

   I'm not tring to impress you but I can swim without floatieessss

   I got 99 problems but a witch ain't one.

   pornography wouldn't be so popular if you could smell it...

   Im starting to think my dog is a spy... she has simply seen too much

   The walking dead:::: best show on t.v..also on netflix..

   I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

   My boyfriend doesn't like bacon. I like him a lot, but I don't know how much longer we're going to last.

   Lebron's Hairline is so far back it played against Larry Bird.

   Layaway season is back! Yessssssss!

   It's not your fault you guys aren't funny... but thanks for the effort in trying.

   Dear girls at the gym, skinny doesn't fix ugly