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Major League Baseball received numerous calls from Rangers fans threatening suicide, so they have set up a new suicide help line. The number is 1-800-STL-1029 
If Batman and Catwoman had a kid, it would become either a Batcat, or the less popular Manwoman.
I'm not shy. I'm just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouh to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment$ directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
16 and pregnant....white girls get their own show......Black girls go on Maury
What everyone hates to look out there window and see.... White
I wish my gps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I`m going home
My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section
Sometimes you have to look back to see just how far you HAVE come. Dont dwell on the past. Things and people move into the past for a reason and do not make it into your present and future for a reason. You look back to gain perspective, not to gain doubt
Saw a baby wearing a bib which read "This dumb ass put my cape on backwards"
Judge: "Wen did you realised you hv been raped?" Prostitute: "When the cheque bounced"
going to murder the most awesomest person alive, but that would be suicide
Changing a whole text because you didn't know how to spell one word.
I'm about to yell inside an envelope!....voice mail..b*tch
Whoever said “nothing is impossible” has obviously never seen me doing nothing.
Taking a test at school: My answer is Yes. If yes please explain...my answer is No
I hate it when someone else buys the things I mentally claimed
I don't know what's more awkward, Answering Dora, Or sitting there in total silence while she stares at you..
everybody is always the same thing for Halloween...drunk as sh*t
If I wave at you, you better wave back and not make me look stupid!
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