Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Life's a trip.....tie your shoes

   Everytime you use the handicap stall you secretly hope no one in a wheelchair comes in.

   if girls don't have to piss side by side with their junk out, why do guys?

   I could use some sexual harassment 

   If Patrick Star was running for president, his motto could be "We should take all of our problems, and move them somewhere else!"

   My wife told me she was going to leave me if I didn't quit making Linkin Park references. Slightly concerned, but in the end it doesn't even matter

   They say you are what you eat but I don't remember eating a sexy beast.

   The most annoying thing is when you get a pimple on your nose, like I would rather get a pimple any where else but...

   that moment when your standing out in the dark waiting for the bus and its a No school day..

   Don't you wish common sense would make a big comeback.

   Chat line commercials ,,those hot babes getting all sexed up to talk on the phone...yeah right ,guys give your head a shake.!!!!

   Your manners slowly disappear the more you have to repeat something. Example: Can you pass the salt? The salt, can you pass it. No. The SALT. GIVE ME THE SALT!

   Admit it, at least once you have sat in school and strategized about singlehandedly saving the class if a madman with a gun showed up.

   When I die I want to be buried with my a$$ sticking out of the ground, not so they can kiss it, but so people have a place to park their bikes when they come to visit.

   I'm a proud supporter of the Occupy sesame street protest.

   I totally agree with the person above lets go to Wall Street with our iphones and record....those cops are gonna be on some Rodney King Sh*t

   She's been pounded more times than Johnny Bench's catchers mitt

   i think we should go to Zuccoti Park in the morning to record how the cops are gonna mistreat the protester!!!!

   We should feed tuna fish mayonnaise, thereby saving a step in the sandwich making process

   Every year at this time I question who decided this Halloween candy is the "Fun" size. These people must really live a boring existence.