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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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CNN: The most "rusted name in news".
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10-14-2011 17:54
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I'm thinking about calling child protective services on Mother Nature.
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10-14-2011 17:50
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Captain dislike came through and hated all the funny things he cant come up with... some one get the bad news bear some f**kin honey
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10-14-2011 17:36 by
OsamaBinDead
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i hate how I walk by the computer and forget what I was planning on doing and instanly check here and facebook lol.
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10-14-2011 17:07 by
@kraziedavid909
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if I was any more fun I'd be boobs and bubble wrap
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10-14-2011 17:04 by
mustangdru
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why buy a 6-pack when you can buy a 12-pack, why buy a 12-pack when you can buy a 24-pack.... screw it, I'm gettin a handle of jack
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10-14-2011 17:01 by
OsamaBinDead
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Most common lie used by women.... "I dont usually do this the first night"
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10-14-2011 16:49 by
OsamaBinDead
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If you can make just ONE person smile, then you're probably a really bad comedian.
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10-14-2011 16:39 by
Marshall the Great
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I took a sh!t this morning. TMI? Yeah well I don't want to read about how in love you are with your boyfriend of the week either.
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10-14-2011 16:38 by
Marshall the Great
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Okay, in case we get caught... lets get our stories straight
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10-14-2011 16:37 by
OsamaBinDead
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F*CK! I'm so drunk that I cooked a pizza for 450 minutes at 15 degrees.
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10-14-2011 16:31 by
Marshall the Great
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WOMEN ARE EVIL! WOMEN suck! Oh that reminds me... women are soft... ooh and warm and wet and... what was I b!tching about? Damn women!!!
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10-14-2011 16:30 by
Marshall the Great
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The reason a man can walk around shirtless with his beer gut hanging out and still feel sexy is because we ARE sexy.
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10-14-2011 16:19 by
Marshall the Great
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Be motivated by the hate you receive and encouraged by the love you receive.
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10-14-2011 16:19
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The best gift that God gave man is the ability to translate whatever a woman says into "blah blah blah blah blah."
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10-14-2011 16:19 by
Marshall the Great
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Every man wants to hear those three special words “Swallowed it all”.
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10-14-2011 16:08
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☑ Facebook. ☑ Twitter. ☑ Tumblr. ☐ Life.
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10-14-2011 16:06
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retired. I was tired yesterday, and I'm tired again today!
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10-14-2011 16:03
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I bet your car doesn't make as many cool noises as mine!!
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10-14-2011 15:56
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Mathematics may not teach us how to add love or how to minus hate. But it gives us every reason to hope that "every problem has a solution.
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10-14-2011 15:40
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