Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon With Lindsay Lohan doubling duty between a Playboy shoot and working at the L.A. county morgue, it should be interesting to see what she wears for Halloween...I haven't spotted any zombie, prison striped, part time lesbian, boozing, kleptomaniac, playboy
←Rate | 10-29-2011 17:25 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thought I had perfect eyesight then I saw my wife
←Rate | 10-29-2011 17:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon zombies, vampires, gory scenes- neither of these scare me in a movie...but what is it about kids just humming along in a white room completely dissilussioned? Scares the s*** out of me!
←Rate | 10-29-2011 17:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going out tonight!.. looking to soap some windows and egg a few houses maybe even the ol' burning dog poop-bag gag!..that's right!..were looking to have a good old fashion Halloween!
←Rate | 10-29-2011 16:41 by M.D.Schooley Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't claim somebody that isn't claiming you! There are a lot of women in a relationship with a single man.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 16:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm terrible with people's names. For example: I've known this guy Steve for years and just realized her name is actually Stacy.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 15:07 by Rick H. Comments (0)  


   messageicon I so hungary I could eat a horse...guess I'll get a McRib
←Rate | 10-29-2011 14:54 by shaunK Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up naked again. Must have been a good night!
←Rate | 10-29-2011 14:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to a halloween party dressed as jesus to hit on some chicks, lets see who rejects the lord tonight!
←Rate | 10-29-2011 14:40 by natemorales Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time to go out and pretend I'm putting up Christmas lights I never took down from last year.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 14:39 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you hold your shoe up to your ear in public, you can hear the sound of people laughing at you for looking like a dumb-a$$.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 14:12 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon once again Tequila is the Delete History button of my brain
←Rate | 10-29-2011 14:05 by Rudy M Comments (0)  


   messageicon It sucks when you pass by an incredibly good looking person, but then you realize it was just a mirror.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 13:59 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 13:53 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey ladies, you know who finds your period attractive? Sharks.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 13:46 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you're walking and texting and you walk slower and slower and slower till you're just standing there texting..
←Rate | 10-29-2011 13:39 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin....
←Rate | 10-29-2011 13:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That uneasy moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don't know what to do with your life any more.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 13:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I forget. How on Earth did we ever find out what the weather was like before Facebook?....Oh, now I remember, we looked out the window.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 13:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who else thought Spongebob's parents were cookies?
←Rate | 10-29-2011 12:50 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  



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