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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Her: I don't see you feeling what I say, that leaves a bad taste cuz I smell your bs. Hear me? Me: You just used all 5 senses in 1 sentence.
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10-15-2011 09:42 by
SuthernFukr
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There is probably a lot of ATM security camera footage of me rocking out.
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10-15-2011 08:48 by
flinnie
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If I was a cab driver, I'd whisper "I could have kept you" to passengers before they got out
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10-15-2011 08:48 by
flinnie
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If there's anything better than yelling at squirrels, I'd sure like to know what it is.
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10-15-2011 08:04 by
flinnie
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Hey, people who jog in place when you're at a red light. Calm down. We're already judging you. Don't give us more ammo
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10-15-2011 08:04 by
flinnie
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Take mentos and freeze into ice cubes. Put the ice cubes in your friend's diet coke. After five minutes their drink will randomly explode.
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10-15-2011 08:04 by
flinnie
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...got my new Metallica underwear in the mail today!.. the front reads "The Shortest Straw" and on the rear "Fade to Black"
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10-15-2011 07:43 by
M.D.Schooley
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Im all about "I" give the rest of the vowels back.
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10-15-2011 06:33
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She got a body like baywatch but a face like crime watch.
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10-15-2011 02:57
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Listen ladies, you know men are not faithful so how bout giving us some tips on how to cheat properly because ya'll the best at it anyway.
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10-15-2011 02:52
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Moral of the story is only cheat with people who have the same relationship status as you. That's how you avoid drama because both of you gotta go home.
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10-15-2011 02:48
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I've been knocking for ten minutes. Don't people answer their bathroom windows anymore?
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10-15-2011 02:45 by
KISSTOPHER
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Clit rings are sexy, as long as her clit isn't the same size as Shaq's big toe
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10-15-2011 02:41
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if he doesn't treat you like a princess, then he isn't your prince.
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10-15-2011 02:36
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Men who cry don't have nut sacks, they have testical purses.
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10-15-2011 02:35
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Ladies: During sex, keep your heels on because when it's over he's kicking your a$$ right out.
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10-15-2011 02:34
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Love is free. Loyalty is going to cost you.
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10-15-2011 02:33
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When I was her age I was riding a bicycle, not d!ck.
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10-15-2011 02:26
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I feel like tap dancing… on someone's face with golf shoes on
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10-15-2011 02:26
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I feel sorry for all the bald horses in the world. Black women only think of themselves.
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10-15-2011 02:23
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