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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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The next time the hostess asks you respond "No, not at all, I came to the restaurant to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."
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11-03-2011 01:27 by
g0re
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Bullying is absolutely disgusting. If you see it, stand up for the person being bullied. If it happens to you, don't be afraid to tell someone and ask for help. Keep the word going people.
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11-03-2011 01:27 by
@mattdinney
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Sometimes you sit in class and listen to the conversations around you and realize you are the smartest person in the room.
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11-03-2011 01:23 by
g0re
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no, NO, you don't need to apply for a Target credit card in the 10 items or less lane.
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11-03-2011 00:53
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The English language is the easiest to learn because even if you get it wrong, so do most of the natives
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11-03-2011 00:50 by
~heZz~
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why did the chicken cross the road? To show POSSUM's that it can be done!!
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11-03-2011 00:46 by
Oregon
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why did the chicken cross the road? "to get to your house"..knock knock..who is there? "the chicken"
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11-03-2011 00:40
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You know you love someone when you talk to them on the phone while you're on the toilet
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11-03-2011 00:33 by
missxtina
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Nothing like a mug full of caffeine and self-hatred topped with an overwhelming amount of regret to start your day.
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11-03-2011 00:07 by
Doc Noland
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Soooo.... Justin Beiber is pregnant. That's gotta be hard for a 13 year old to go through..
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11-02-2011 22:43 by
Brandon
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i hear bieber is expecting a kid...i wonder when justin's due date is
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11-02-2011 21:43 by
Eddy
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If sex between 3 people is called 3some, between two people is called twosome. why is Handsome still a compliment?
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11-02-2011 21:33 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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I <3 it when I come home & my dog does the happy dance, looks more like the lambada but wutever....
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11-02-2011 21:32
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Love starts with "You are different" & ends with "you are all the same"
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11-02-2011 21:21 by
BEGO
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No one ever gets tired of loving. They just get tired of waiting, assuming, hearing lies, saying sorry & hurting.
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11-02-2011 21:20 by
BEGO
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Don't let loneliness drive you back into the arms of someone you know doesn't give a damn about you.
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11-02-2011 21:17 by
BEGO
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I hate when people ruin my status by commenting with their lack of humor.
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11-02-2011 20:58
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Boinga boinga boinga boinga (woman jogger) boinga boinga boinga.....
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11-02-2011 20:57 by
bored bored bored
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I have restless leg syndrome and may not be able to stop myself from kicking your ass!
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11-02-2011 20:28 by
totalpackage
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I'm proud to come from a family of work-a-holics.....Everytime someone mentions work, we all get drunk! ツ
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11-02-2011 20:20 by
totalpackage
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