Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Been watching that show " The Biggest Loser" and I figured out why they call I that and its not about who loses the most weight....

   I was going to wish you a happy birthday but Facebook was down

   Glad the Facebook redesign helped distract you from everything actually wrong with your life

   May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook

   I hate it when people belittle other people's problems just because they're not as bad as some. No matter the gravity, they're still problems, and people have a right to be sad.

   Feelings like anger and sadness should probably be embraced. Even though we may not like them, they're all natural emotions and a part of life. After all, the world would most likely be pretty bland if all we felt was satisfaction.

   "He broke my heart I broke his xbox <3 :))" ...Right. Things like this are probably why he broke up with you in the first place.

   It's all New Orleans Saints day.

   The best posts are the ones that make you say "I had no idea other people did that!".

   Those people that make fun of you for flinching are annoying. Of course I try to avoid getting hit in the face.

   My dream car is 1969 Camaro with a pine tree airfreshenr hanging from the rearview and your girlfriend in backseat. Now all I need is a 1969 Camaro.

   In the world of MTV, when a girl is in her sixteenth year she either gets an extravagant birthday party or a baby. Most sixteen-year-olds I know would settle for a new iPod.

   if dogs could talk theyd prolly talk a lot about shoes

   I want to make a font joke, but I'm just not bold enough.

   When someone asks me what superpower I would have if I were a superhero, I tell them I already have one. I say I possess the preternatural ability to anticipate and avoid horrifically boring conversations. Then I walk away.

   Look, if I thought my feelings needed to be spared I would've just went to a prostitute and saved myself the effort!

   Detroit Lions players mock Tim Tebow in blowout win Sunday. Tim Tebow responded with; At least I don't wake up in Detroit.

   had it up to here!! (raises hand above head)

   You know when you walk into a room and forget why you went in there? That's God playing Sims, he just cancelled your action.

   Statistically speaking, 9 out of 11 Americans will be offended by this message.