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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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"Isn't it amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're leaving?"
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11-12-2011 22:41
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The people made of chocolate from the Hershey's commercials freak me out...
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11-12-2011 21:25 by
Ru
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If a stripper has company, does she offer them two cups of T and some A?
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11-12-2011 21:09
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Did you that a slug has 3,000 teeth and four noses. Beating out Michael Jackson and Joan Rivers by eight teeth.
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11-12-2011 21:07
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I heard on the news that a man was arrested for having sex with a picnic table. I hope he was wearing a condiment.
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11-12-2011 20:59
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Nothing says you almost got caught watching porn like staring at an empty Google search bar..
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11-12-2011 20:33 by
g0re
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Blood is thicker then water, but maple syrup is thicker then blood. Therefore pancakes are more important than family
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11-12-2011 20:28 by
g0re
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The best way to end an argument is to let your opponent scream out a statement and reply by throwing up your hands and saying, "That's exactly what I've been trying to tell you!" and then walking away.
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11-12-2011 20:27 by
g0re
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Sorry girls L.O.V.E dosn't stand for "legs open very easy"
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11-12-2011 20:14 by
Kian
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After several experiments I've determined it's impossible to overdose on cheese
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11-12-2011 20:08 by
Rob K
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would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
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11-12-2011 19:52 by
Maureen
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When a mime dies, do mourners ask for a moment of talking?
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11-12-2011 19:42
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Did you hear that Apple is developing a new Alternative Gas Source that everyone can help contribute to? They are going to call it the iFart.
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11-12-2011 19:22
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Dr. Joyce Brothers says crying after sex is perfectly normal. Especially if it was sex with her.
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11-12-2011 19:12
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You know you've finally matured when you stop asking for money to use on the bubblegum machines at Restaurants.
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11-12-2011 18:07
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A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.
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11-12-2011 17:42 by
LauraP
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Ladies: Guys don't care if the carpet matches the drapes, but they prefer bare hardwood...
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11-12-2011 17:10
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When I flush the toilet I like to yell "SH!TS GOING DOWN!!!" in my best gangster voice.
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11-12-2011 16:36
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Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeaaaa... LMFAO :D
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11-12-2011 15:58 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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Does anyone know the name of that one song that doesn't have Pitbull in it?
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11-12-2011 13:56 by
@dj_soltrix
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