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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I heard you are a PLAYA. Nice to meet you, I am the COACH.
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11-17-2011 13:49 by
Czovczov
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Rotisserie Chicken..a morbid Ferris-wheel for chicken...spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water...That's right… I LIKE MY CHICKEN DIZZY!!!
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11-17-2011 13:41
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HEADLINE: "American stranded in Ukraine in online dating scam" - I am just glad I have never needed a date this bad.
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11-17-2011 13:22
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Hey....Admit it, everyone has a little bit of racism in them. When you do laundry, I bet you all separate the colored from the whites......
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11-17-2011 13:11 by
sully
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Another way for a guy to confess his virginity to a woman is to tell her he follows Justin Bieber on Twitter.
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11-17-2011 12:44 by
@dj_soltrix
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Everyone wants to be Black but no one wants Black problems.
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11-17-2011 12:35
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The Pill, the second best thing a woman can put in her mouth to avoid pregnancy
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11-17-2011 12:35 by
kevko
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When I am sad, I think of you- I then realize that my life is still better then yours.
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11-17-2011 12:34
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A Real Boyfriend will make sure he wears protection when Cheating.
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11-17-2011 12:08
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You know you are a complete loser when you are doing hard time for shoplifting in the dollar store.
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11-17-2011 12:05
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S W A G – [S]omething [W]e [A]$$holes [G]ot.
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11-17-2011 12:03
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Broke chicks always know exactly what kind of Men they want BUT never know what kind of Man DON'T want their destitute a$$!
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11-17-2011 12:00
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Shout out to all the fat people that are hungry for success.
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11-17-2011 11:57
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Damn girl..you look like you know how to have a good time...at a buffet.
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11-17-2011 11:56
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Women don't trust Men, not because they cheat but because they know how scandalous and shady other Women are!
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11-17-2011 11:47 by
Czovczov
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I wish you could pick a brand of car, and every few years you'd get an upgrade. Like with phones.
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11-17-2011 11:45 by
BEGO
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Sometimes I read status updates on Facebook and wonder “How am I friends with them?”
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11-17-2011 11:44 by
BEKO
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Yeah, I'm F.I.N.E., (F)alling apart, (I)nsecure, (N)eeding help, (E)verything's wrong.
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11-17-2011 11:43 by
BEGO
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Hell hath no fury like a Poptart that hasn't had time to properly cool off.
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11-17-2011 10:45
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As cold as it is outside, today might be a good day to double-up on my underwear.
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11-17-2011 10:32 by
Goodeolboy
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