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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.
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11-03-2011 11:52 by
KISSTOPHER
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noticed that countries that eat bacon have a lot less violence and war
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11-03-2011 11:47 by
Cole Patterson
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When you love someone age , distance , height . weight is just a damn number .
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11-03-2011 11:36
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Did you hear about the mexican guy who had a heart attack on Halloween? Somebody came to his door dressed as a job.
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11-03-2011 11:32
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would happily join one of these "occupy" movements, if only they were looking to occupy a Dunkin' Donuts.
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11-03-2011 10:56 by
Maureen
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If you're genuinely surprised about Kim Kardashian getting divorced, I need to tell you something about Santa Claus...
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11-03-2011 10:54 by
SEAN
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I like to lift my feet up so the person in the stall next to me thinks it's a ghost that has diarrhea.
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11-03-2011 10:28 by
Aaron
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I had a near death experience, and I saw heaven. People were screaming and there was fire everywhere. It was glorious.
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11-03-2011 10:18 by
Aaron
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People say that money isn't the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
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11-03-2011 09:35
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My sleep number is 2...bong rips
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11-03-2011 09:35 by
Lozo
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I've applied for a job at the DMV so I can be the one who decides who can have a license and who will f***ing walk.
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11-03-2011 09:01 by
SuthernFukr
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I think the smartest, most original thing a person can talk about is how early the Christmas decorations are up this year.
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11-03-2011 08:59 by
SuthernFukr
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In my experience, passionately singing Phil Collins will clear a room.
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11-03-2011 08:56 by
SuthernFukr
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Just unfriended 3 people for chatting under my status.
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11-03-2011 08:55
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Researchers at the Mayo Clinic have found a way to slow the aging process in mice. Because everyone hates old mice
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11-03-2011 06:54 by
flinnie
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Ya know you had a good night when you wake up next day having used the coffee table as Duvet !!
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11-03-2011 06:16 by
Beefcakes
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Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.
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11-03-2011 03:40
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Gossip is the devil's radio station,so don't be the dj
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11-03-2011 03:36
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GIRL : “Your teeth” BOY : “Yes, what about them?” GIRL : “They remind me of a song” BOY : “Oh really what song ?” GIRL : “Black and Yellow”
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11-03-2011 03:14
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Woman's Tongue & Man's eye, 'rest' only when they die..
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11-03-2011 02:27
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