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If you listen to the new Coldplay album on very good speakers you can actually hear the band growing ovaries.
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11-07-2011 09:51 by
SuthernFukr
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I'm about to get in the middle of some girl-on-girl action with Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth.
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11-07-2011 09:22 by
SuthernFukr
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HEADLINE: Justin Bieber wins big, trashes rumours at EMAs. You go girrrrrrrrrrrrrl....
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11-07-2011 09:05
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you know its time to get a girlfriend when you start looking for socks behind the dryer..
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11-07-2011 08:30
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Don't tease fat girls, elephants never forget...
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11-07-2011 08:00 by
Lu
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We're probably accidentally giving ghosts handjobs all the time
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11-07-2011 07:54 by
Lu
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So many women.... So little time to disappoint them all...
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11-07-2011 07:51 by
Lu
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Commercials for toilet paper make it seem like I'll be cuddling with the ish instead of wiping with it...
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11-07-2011 07:48 by
Lu
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for a perfectly shaved forearm reach for the last Pringle in the can....
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11-07-2011 07:43 by
Lu
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I'd imagine homeless people aren't the fans of little dogs wearing sweaters
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11-07-2011 07:41 by
Lu
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i hate sitting comfortably on the couch and then discocering that my phone is more than an arm's length away. Also more than a leg's length away.
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11-07-2011 07:40 by
Lu
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They say real woman have curves. Well then... the woman sitting in front of me at the theatre is a real, real, real, real, real, real woman.
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11-07-2011 07:36
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I don't care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it
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11-07-2011 07:33 by
Lu
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I wonder if AM realises how bad it sucks compared to PM and FM?
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11-07-2011 07:32 by
Lu
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Auctioneers are proof that white guys could rap if they wanted to
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11-07-2011 07:31 by
Lu
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No wonder my cigar tastes funny... its just a really old hotdog
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11-07-2011 07:27 by
Lu
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I love pressing buttons, so as you can imagine this makes it really difficult for me to be around nipples
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11-07-2011 07:23 by
Lu
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looks like the only black and yellow we have to worry about is the cute little bumblebee.
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11-07-2011 07:06 by
buff
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The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now."
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11-07-2011 06:56 by
flinnie
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Why do people adopt insults that are directed at other people and take them personal, make them their own?
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11-07-2011 06:56
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