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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I'm not sure what in the hell MW3 stands for but unless it's Margarita Wednesdays for $3 I'm not interested
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11-09-2011 21:14
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I wish I could type my mood into my iPod and it would make a playlist for me.
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11-09-2011 21:01 by
g0re
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I sent a Facebook friend request to the girl who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from her house.
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11-09-2011 21:00 by
BEGO
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Sometimes you can't tell if you're just in a bad mood or everyone around you is being annoying.
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11-09-2011 20:57 by
g0re
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My six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside."
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11-09-2011 20:45 by
BEGO
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The illbillies who inhabit the apartment above mine got karaoke machine. It's 1 am and they're singing Achy Breaky Heart.
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11-09-2011 20:43 by
BEGO
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I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss.
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11-09-2011 20:39 by
BEGO
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clicking her heels......... trying to find her way home.
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11-09-2011 20:34 by
brenda
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R.I.P My 52" Sony T.V !!! You will be missed!!! We had some great times together!!! This Beers for you !!!
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11-09-2011 20:33 by
Tibbetts
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It isn't that I'm not a people person, it's just that I'm not a stupid people person.
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11-09-2011 19:59
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Mr. Sandusky is going to open a new college called Bring em' Young!!
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11-09-2011 19:48 by
ben
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I will respect any religion you practice as long as you don't knock on my door to tell me about it.
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11-09-2011 19:42
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Taught my boy a lesson today.. When you give your girl a facial, You must wipe off the monitor afterwards.
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11-09-2011 19:34
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Heavy D dies. i'm sure it's a difficult time right now for the two remaining members of Wilson Phillips
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11-09-2011 18:36 by
slappy
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I'm Frank with all of my dates. Wouldn't want them knowing my real name would i?
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11-09-2011 18:15
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Everything is made in China, Except for babies, They're made in the VaChina
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11-09-2011 17:39 by
g0re
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How is LIL WAYNE, a man with a wife, ex-wife, 5 baby mommas, 3 boos, 2 hoes an a partridge in a pear tree, gonna tell me how to love.
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11-09-2011 17:34 by
g0re
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The funniest thing about the Darth Vader kid car commerical was that the parents thought they started the car.
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11-09-2011 16:56 by
g0re
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You've really got to hand it to short people, because sometimes they often can't reach it.
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11-09-2011 16:52 by
g0re
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I never let my children watch band performances on TV. Too much sax and violins.
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11-09-2011 16:50 by
g0re
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