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Hey there people who start dancing a little to the music playing at Starbucks. Can we talk about you not doing that anymore?
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11-10-2011 09:57 by
SuthernFukr
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When cops respond to a domestic violence call & they hear Bob Seger coming from the house, they're like "Uh oh…"
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11-10-2011 09:55 by
SuthernFukr
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A life without love is like a year without summer.
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11-10-2011 09:55
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If I were homeless, I'd stand in front of other homeless dudes and hold a sign that says "He's lying."
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11-10-2011 09:49 by
flinnie
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Love is always giving more than you can spare.
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11-10-2011 09:48 by
flinnie
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I was categorized as being in beast mode but have since been downgraded to a tropical storm.
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11-10-2011 09:48 by
SuthernFukr
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Went to the movies. There must have been 400 people. Most of them were not there to see the movie, but to compete in a popcorn box and chocolate wrapper rustling competition. Others came to cough
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11-10-2011 09:47 by
flinnie
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Just learned that spraying Febreze into my mouth to chase a shot of vodka causes me to say "Heavens to Betsy!" a lot while I do a crazy jig.
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11-10-2011 09:47 by
SuthernFukr
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People still talk about the Clinton sex scandal as if the meteoric rise and fall of the Sneaker Pimps wasn't the 90s drama du jour.
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11-10-2011 09:45 by
SuthernFukr
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I failed the emergency broadcast test. My apologies to all the employees I shoved to the ground while screaming "we're all gonna die!"
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11-10-2011 09:40 by
flinnie
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Doesn't it sometimes seem like Dr Phil is doing an impression of Dr Phil?
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11-10-2011 09:38 by
SuthernFukr
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In Ashton Kutcher's defense, Demi Moore only lets him read the comic books Bruce Willis left at the house.
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11-10-2011 09:37 by
SuthernFukr
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Father Jim inspired me to confess with a lighter attitude. From now on, it's "Bless me, Father, these sins are gonna crack you up!"
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11-10-2011 09:36 by
SuthernFukr
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2013. The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
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11-10-2011 09:35
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I hate it when I forget to turn my swag off at night and I wake up covered in b!tches.
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11-10-2011 09:34 by
SuthernFukr
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Tomorrow is 11/11/11. This day only comes once every 100 years so go out there and do something crazy and make it memorable.
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11-10-2011 09:34 by
Czovczov
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The only other thing more popular than Facebook's "Like" button is MySpace's "Delete Account" button.
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11-10-2011 09:32
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50,000 battered women....and i'm still eating mine plain
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11-10-2011 09:16 by
bigjohn420
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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. If he said he's busy tonight, the side chick is you.
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11-10-2011 08:28
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Wake & Bake People!!! Who wants a chocolate chip muffin?!?
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11-10-2011 07:38 by
SuthernFukr
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