Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon The person who invented the online software for your parents to see your grades is a real douchebag and must be assassinated.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 10:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone asks, "Where are you from originally?” replying, "My Mom's V@gina", is apparently not a socially acceptable answer.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 10:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I see a black guy who can't dance I just assume was adopted by white parents.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 10:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I recently lost a friend. Not a real one, just one on Facebook.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 10:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Met a hot chick online last night. Name's Casey. Lives in Florida and loves kids! Super excited! I think she could be the one.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 10:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All you damn people inviting me to Castleville get on Battlefield 3 so I can knife you!!
←Rate | 12-03-2011 10:34 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon You get to a point in life where it would be quicker to tell the doctor what isn't wrong with you than what is.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 09:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q) Why was the Snowman so happy? A) He saw the SnowBlower coming!!!!
←Rate | 12-03-2011 09:32 by greg2missy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My grandfather was a wise man, which is probably why every Christmas he only gave me Myrrh.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 09:11 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Is there a High Council of Nazi Elders? To whom do we report these bathroom graffiti artists who are drawing their swastikas backwards?
←Rate | 12-03-2011 09:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just made eye contact with a guy in a turtleneck and now I like Coldplay.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 09:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If bad decisions were flavored, they'd taste like tequila.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 09:09 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't speak Italian, but Pinot Grigio means "slut fuel," right?
←Rate | 12-03-2011 08:59 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll stop making excuses when other people start taking responsibility for my actions.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 08:58 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel you're in a cave you idiot!
←Rate | 12-03-2011 08:13 by azza Comments (0)  


   messageicon tryen to get in the Christmas spirit, but I can't get the damn jar to open!
←Rate | 12-03-2011 06:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't drink milk often but when I do I prefer Dos Titties
←Rate | 12-03-2011 06:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In line at CVS I leaned close to the lady in front of me and whispered "boots with the fuuuuur." Now she's gone and I'm next.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 05:44 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?
←Rate | 12-03-2011 05:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oceans, largest to smallest: Pacific, Atlantic, Indian, Southern, Arctic, Billy.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 05:38 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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