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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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"Love me tender." - pirate describing his fondness of breaded chicken
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11-18-2011 09:12 by
SuthernFukr
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I'm in Wisconsin for two more days which should be just long enough to lose enthusiasm for existence.
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11-18-2011 09:11 by
SuthernFukr
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I think it's time for me to pick something to care about.
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11-18-2011 09:10 by
SuthernFukr
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Wrote a screenplay called "Primal Justice" about a high dollar lawyer gorilla torn between his code of ethics & his lust for power/bananas.
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11-18-2011 09:09 by
SuthernFukr
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Bacon. The word alone deserves its own status.
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11-18-2011 09:06 by
SuthernFukr
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in the dictionary everything starts with e.
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11-18-2011 09:01
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Whenever I worry I've been wasting my time on FB, I cheer myself up by remembering I have never seen a Twilight movie.......
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11-18-2011 08:57 by
sully
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says If you're going to be original, be prepared to be copied.
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11-18-2011 08:45
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patiently waiting for the day when I need to set the alarm on my clock to wake up in the morning.
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11-18-2011 08:42 by
JackieM
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Notice seen outside a Church: Please do not leave your Purse/Watch/Handbag/Mobile/Girlfriend/Boyfriend unattended. Others may think it`s an answer to their prayers.
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11-18-2011 08:05
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As Ole Fred Sanford would say, "You big dummy".
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11-18-2011 05:00
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If you're going to be original, be prepared to be copied.
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11-18-2011 03:18
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changing seats on a bus may change your view... but not your destination
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11-18-2011 03:13
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Can't believe that Facebook won't let me set my relationship status to “in a relationship with myself”.
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11-18-2011 03:10
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Pretending you're the host of a cooking show, when you're home alone cooking.
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11-18-2011 03:06 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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If you plan your own birthday party, you really don't have that much to celebrate.
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11-18-2011 01:08 by
Doc Noland
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My definition of clean living is mixing my Jack and Coke with my pinky since it's touched less gross stuff than my other fingers.
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11-18-2011 01:00 by
Doc Noland
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Oh lord, give me patience and inner peace because if you give me strength, I might just punch somebody in the face.
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11-18-2011 00:58
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No matter what mistakes I make in my life at least I won't be as pathetic as the guy who got eaten by a t-rex on the toilet in Jurassic Park
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11-18-2011 00:52 by
@BoyGotJokes
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I can keep a secret, its all the people I tell who cant.
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11-18-2011 00:48
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