Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4144 of 5593

   messageicon If having the moves like Jagger entails prancing around like an electrocuted chicken then no, I do not have the moves like Jagger
←Rate | 12-10-2011 15:17 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It's not a beautiful poem but it's very deep.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 13:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when women don't have any pictures showing how her butt looks. How else am I going to know if I want to talk to you?
←Rate | 12-10-2011 12:49 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon You call it an invitation to your wedding. I call it an invitation to free food and alcohol.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 12:20 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Willie Nelson is 77, so would somebody please warn him that weed's the gateway to heroin before it's too late.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 12:20 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lost a lot of Xmas Manger characters, but 2 Wise Men and a He-Man will do.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 12:18 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rihanna should date Lebron James.. He never beats anyone
←Rate | 12-10-2011 12:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have seen many men undergo difficult tasks for the slim chance of getting laid.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 12:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm just your typical stay-at-home dad. Except I don't do housework or have a wife or any kids.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 12:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love updating my Facebook status while crossing the stre
←Rate | 12-10-2011 12:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it weren't for the fact that my bed is so far away from my computer, some days I wouldn't exercise at all.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 12:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shout out to the illegal aliens that are down to earth
←Rate | 12-10-2011 12:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, & my alarm clock is the police.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 11:38 by MC Mandela Comments (0)  


   messageicon How long should you wait for a reply from someone via text before you assume they've been murdered?
←Rate | 12-10-2011 11:34 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turned my brain off for the weekend and now I can't stop coming up with ideas for Adam Sandler movies.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 11:33 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I spend way too much time figuring out how I'm gonna get drunk.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 11:33 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationships nowadays: First month, I love you baby! Second month, we are forever! Third month, Single.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 11:26 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate it when a chocolate chip blocks the straw of your Starbucks coffee and you realize that you have no real problems?
←Rate | 12-10-2011 11:26 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I once had a life … then some idiot came and told me to make a Facebook!
←Rate | 12-10-2011 11:26 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Holiday Lights Tour starts in 10 mins. Free booze and spraypaint. No cops! Seriously, if you're a cop you have to say so.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 11:24 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left