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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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While Lebron is playing for the East, his mom was riding the West.
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12-01-2011 04:03 by
g0re
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I was calm, until you told me to calm down.
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12-01-2011 02:54
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Santa knocked on my door yelling "Ho, Ho, Ho!" and I told him that your girlfriend doesn't live here.
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12-01-2011 01:58
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I mustache you a question. Nevermind, I'll shave it for later
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12-01-2011 01:54
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Some people just need a sympathetic pat... on the head... with a hammer.
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12-01-2011 01:41 by
Reuben
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We all have a "friend" we don't even like..
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12-01-2011 01:39 by
@RonnieChapman
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Opinions are like orgasms. Mine's more important, and I don't give a fuck if she has one or not.
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12-01-2011 00:58 by
Zinc
| Tags: Filtered
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My New Year's Resolution? 1080p.
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12-01-2011 00:55 by
Zinc
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hates double standards. If a chick bangs a bunch of dudes, she's a slut. If a guy does it, he's a homosexual.
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12-01-2011 00:49 by
Zinc
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Came home to find all the doors and windows open and everything gone..what kind of sick person would do that to someone's advent calendar??
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12-01-2011 00:47 by
Zinc
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Oh, so it's ok for Superman to wear his underpants on the outside but not me? Sometimes I don't even know why I bother showing up to court anymore.
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12-01-2011 00:45 by
Zinc
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the last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still technically on the list.
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12-01-2011 00:45 by
Zinc
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went to a karaoke bar that had no 70's songs. At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
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12-01-2011 00:38 by
Zinc
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30 Days more......to plan another New Year's resolutions or a new start on old habits!!
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12-01-2011 00:32
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Sometimes I look at what someone is wearing and I can't help but think, "did you give up on life?"
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12-01-2011 00:31 by
KISSTOPHER
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2011: bros before hoes 1800: brethren foregoing lasses.
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12-01-2011 00:28
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It sucks when you have to much month left at the end of your money
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11-30-2011 23:42 by
ugg
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Well the WD40 worked, the squeek is gone.... But now the guinea pig just lays there lifeless
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11-30-2011 23:41 by
wd40
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If you pull the pin out of a grenade, can you put it back in and let go? I'm going to need a quick answer for this....
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11-30-2011 23:39 by
teehee
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I can honestly say I'm 150lbs of pure sexy! Plus 50ish lbs of something soft and squishy
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11-30-2011 23:34 by
drrr
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