Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Men are born between a woman's legs and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in between them, because there's no place like home.

   I dont know why soo many people are against gay couples adopting children. According to the"babble" Jesus had two dads and he turned out okay.....

   I consider myself a gentleman I repeatedly opened the car door for my ex especially on curvy roads RJ

   if she got gold in her mouth....she's too hood for you bro

   Be choosey about who you let into your life and be selective about who you let stay.

   if her rims are worth more than her car, she's too hood for you bro

   I am more bored than an Easter Bunny in December.

   It wasn't my fault I got drunk!!! I was thirsty ;) x

   I refuse to go bungee jumping...I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one!!

   Don't be unhappy if your dreams never come true -- just be thankful your nightmares don't.

   There are no "good people"....Only good bullsh*tters.

   Damn you Migasjoe and your BookOfTebow!

   Dude, quit posting your stupid Tebow crap.

   Dear therapist, I might actually come see you if your job title didn't spell out, “The rapist” Sincerely, not lying down.

   Facebook just suggested I be friends with my ex. I marked it 'Offensive

   For what was impossible with Orton is possible with me! BookofTebow 12:9

   when you doubt thy will thy kicker will kick in the name of justice and righteousness with the right leg of victory BookOFTebow 31:17

   Thy shall never lose ones faith, no matter the deficit. Thy messiah shall leadith you to the promise land of the endzone. BookOfTebow 16:32

   "I wasn't that drunk." ... "Dude you destroyed my moms garden while yelling, "F**K farmville!"

   "Celebrating the 10 year anniversary working for this company!" - Best answer to the "where do you see yourself in 10 years?" job interview question. :)