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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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There is a big difference between drinking to get drunk and drinking to stay warm, and HR needs to learn that difference.
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12-13-2011 10:03 by
SuthernFukr
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Threesomes get super-awkward when the third person wakes up.
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12-13-2011 10:03 by
SuthernFukr
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My Roomba has seen too much.
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12-13-2011 09:54 by
SuthernFukr
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To all the merchants trying to make a buck off of Christmas...Go elf yourself!
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12-13-2011 09:53 by
Goodeolboy
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When it gets dark early, the universe dares the drunk within me to get started.
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12-13-2011 09:52 by
SuthernFukr
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It amazes me how all of these infomercials talk about different ways to make your pen!s larger, but they never mention just playing with it.
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12-13-2011 09:52 by
SuthernFukr
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All bad decisions are ultimately made using the same piece of resounding logic: “Screw it.”
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12-13-2011 09:49 by
SuthernFukr
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I'm starting to think it's probably not that hard out there for a pimp.
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12-13-2011 09:15 by
flinnie
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I declined an iTunes Terms & Conditions update. Immediately my phone rang. A cold robotic voice said "wrong move silly human."
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12-13-2011 09:14 by
flinnie
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Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. And thats where I come in.
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12-13-2011 09:13 by
flinnie
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Be open to whatever comes next,, unless it's a pen!s.
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12-13-2011 08:17 | Tags: Filtered
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I got 99 problems and sexual frustration plays a huge part in all of them
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12-13-2011 08:00
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"Eww, I'm so ugly." Like oops I think you spelt "I want attention" wrong. Confidence is key ladies.
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12-13-2011 07:38 by
amberleigh
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If Mac users care more about the environment than Windows users... Why do Macs have a trash can, and Windows have a recycling bin ?
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12-13-2011 07:19 by
g0re
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Ladies: If you get an an argument with your man and you want to win or just want the argument to be over with, Just get naked and see how fast his attitude changes...
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12-13-2011 07:06 by
amberleigh
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Just saw a baby that was wearing a shirt that said, "not everything stays in Vegas"
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12-13-2011 06:54 by
g0re
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I think we need to be more concerned about dinosaur ghosts.
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12-13-2011 06:12 by
g0re
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I almost got raped in jail. My family takes monopoly very seriously.
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12-13-2011 05:41
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Guy: Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? Girl: No Guy: (pulls pockets inside out) would you like to?
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12-13-2011 05:37 by
g0re
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My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy... So now I sit down to pee.
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12-13-2011 05:32 by
g0re
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