Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If steroids and other performance enhancing drugs are illegal for athletes, shouldn't Photoshop be illegal for models?
←Rate | 12-30-2011 11:39 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gay people are such immaculate dressers because they've spent a lot of time in the closet.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 11:37 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm starting to realize that Facebook has made more changes than Obama
←Rate | 12-30-2011 11:25 by Mikej Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have been teased by friends and family that I spend way too much time on Facebook and that I really need to get a life. I am happy to say that I DO have a life outside of Facebook, but unfortunately I have forgotten the password for it.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 11:23 by jacksje4 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having a "20 items or less" express lane at Wal-Mart is pointless when your customers don't know how to count.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most women are open to anything in bed if you make it clear you're not going to get anything in their hair.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Demi Moore's next husband is swimming around in Justin Bieber's balls right now.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:35 by Baddie | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know if you say "beer can" with a British accent, you have also just said "bacon" with a Jamaican accent?
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 3 things that should never be broken. 1. Hearts 2. Promises 3. Condoms. Sometimes the breaking of # 3 causes 1 & 2 to break.”
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Mmmm. I like that. That smells nice. I'm gonna piss on it." - Dogs. And R. Kelly.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fellas: Let a woman wear the pants in a relationship. They are coming off later anyways!
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:23 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon that weird momment when ur pet comes in ur room, stares, then walks back out.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Giving people the benefit of the doubt is usually just a polite way of temporarily overlooking their stupidity.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:16 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Divorcees: Because one man's trash is another man's booty.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever invented Copy & Paste should have been awarded a Nobel Prize.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When watching the DIY network your remote should automatically not allow you to change the channel or volume. So now you have to get up and......
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon HIM: “You look like a Barbie!” HER: “Thanks. You mean tall, slim and beautiful right?” HIM: “Hell no! I mean plastic and without a brain.”
←Rate | 12-30-2011 10:01 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know it's time to do laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 08:55 by Brafty Crastard Comments (0)  


   messageicon LOVE putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They're so warm and cozy, and it's fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 08:55 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how long I'd be on hold if my call wasn't important to them..
←Rate | 12-30-2011 08:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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