Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon what a night it was.. I did the fox-trot, cha-cha, galop, paso-doble, and even the zapateado!!... I must of stepped on 5 damned leggo's on my way to the bathroom last night
←Rate | 01-01-2012 10:37 by skewldog Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationships are like tattoos. They seem a good idea at the time.
←Rate | 01-01-2012 10:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you owe me money, until you pay me, don't expect any of our conversations to be pleasant.
←Rate | 01-01-2012 10:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thou shall not call thyself a barbie, when thou looketh like precious!
←Rate | 01-01-2012 10:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2012 has arrived on schedule. Please wait until the New Year has come to a complete STOP before unfastening your seatbelts....
←Rate | 01-01-2012 08:41 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm hoping for major changes in 2012. Like getting ice out of the freezer and not having one piece always falling on the floor.
←Rate | 01-01-2012 08:41 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy 20dozen!
←Rate | 01-01-2012 08:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says "Drive faster and put me under the seat."
←Rate | 01-01-2012 07:48 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook would be a lot better if they had an “Ignore all engagement and wedding posts” option
←Rate | 01-01-2012 07:47 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Slippery Slope of New Years Resolutions: 1st Resolution: Go to the gym every day. 2nd: Feel guilty for not going. 3rd: Pie.
←Rate | 01-01-2012 07:44 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Blasting Chumbawumba, and I'm not gonna stop until the realtor showing the house next door pays me to.
←Rate | 01-01-2012 07:43 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear People taking photos of the expensive alcohol you are drinking and p0sting them: Stop it!!
←Rate | 01-01-2012 05:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember 2011 like it was yesterday
←Rate | 01-01-2012 05:45 by Memz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to Facebook Timeline....Ended at midnight 31 December 2011
←Rate | 01-01-2012 05:22 by Memz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I invented four new karate moves while trying to get an automatic paper towel dispenser to work
←Rate | 01-01-2012 04:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last New Year's, people promised me that 2011 would be MY year. Those people are liars and are no longer my life coaches
←Rate | 01-01-2012 04:49 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rap is what happens when you can't hold your bragging inside anymore.
←Rate | 01-01-2012 04:49 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The bare toilet paper tube next to my open lap top tells you all you need to know about last night.
←Rate | 01-01-2012 04:48 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many times of day can you worry about being pecked to death by a flock of seagulls before it finally comes true?
←Rate | 01-01-2012 04:48 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never trust an Avon lady who doesn't wear any makeup. The whole thing is probably a front for her organ-harvesting business.
←Rate | 01-01-2012 04:48 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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