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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Katy Perry kissed a guy that looks like a girl and apparently didn't like it.
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01-03-2012 04:51 by
hihuggiehi
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You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.
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01-03-2012 04:50 by
hihuggiehi
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I think all Walmart bathrooms are required by law to look like the set of one of the "Saw" movies.
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01-03-2012 04:48 by
hihuggiehi
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Doesn't seem like a good sign that I asked for a to-go box at this Mexican restaurant, and they brought me a casket.
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01-03-2012 04:47 by
hihuggiehi
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The only people who still leave voicemail messages are bill collectors and moms.
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01-03-2012 04:45 by
hihuggiehi
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The awkard moment when you realize Valentines day is approaching fast and the only one who loves you is your pet..
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01-03-2012 03:53 by
g0re
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FACT: Hairy women like rough sex!
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01-03-2012 02:21
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If I had $100 for everytime I read something funny on your Facebook page, I would still be broke.
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01-03-2012 02:13 by
Czovczov
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The first step toward drinking is admitting you're not drunk.
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01-03-2012 02:05
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Every business has its busy season. The gyms are now bracing for their two-week onslaught of door crashers.
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01-03-2012 01:58 by
Czovczov
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Ladies: You texted him but he hasn't texted back? Don't be too quick to assume he is ignoring you, instead assume he was obviously so excited to get your text message that he fainted.
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01-03-2012 01:49 by
Czovczov
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Nothing says “Good Morning… I Love You!” like morning sex.
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01-03-2012 01:46
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Morning sex means, “I love making love to you so much that your dragon breath doesn't even phase me.
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01-03-2012 01:43
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An Irishman walks out of a bar... No, really, he walks out.
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01-03-2012 01:41
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Stretch before sex: every year 11,000 Americans are injured trying tricky sexual positions.
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01-03-2012 01:39
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WARNING: Drinking alcoholic before pregnancy can cause pregnancy.
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01-03-2012 01:39
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Wife: Promise me, you'll let my mom ride in the first car with you at my funeral. Husband: OK, but it'll ruin my day.
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01-03-2012 01:38
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If you're gonna copy my status, at least put me as a reference.
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01-03-2012 01:36
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B.O.B = Bacon Over B!tches
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01-03-2012 01:34
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I look forward to the day I get to complain to my grandkids about how when I was growing up we didn't have 3D porn.
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01-03-2012 01:33
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