Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   They say the key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time. I call "BS". Apparently it's not romantic to give a woman a see-thru nighty during confirmation.

   2012 is looking better. I had a twosome..... Woohoo!

   Getting up with a massive headache and in an Unknown apartment.. well I suppose I had a good start to new years.. Wish you all the same.. Happy New Year !!

   Ok, so it's 2012. Shouldn't we be living like the Jetsons by now?

   I was standing in front of the mirror earlier, admiring my six pack for hours. Then I decide to put it back in the fridge and get a bottle of Champagne ... HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!

   R.I.P to the virginitys about to be lost tonight.

   ‎2012 has arrived on schedule. Please wait until the New Year has come to a complete STOP before unfastening your seatbelts....

   Silly hairdresser, always puts my cape on backwards.

   Im pretty sure the Mayans' calendar is wrong, I mean they DISAPPEARED a thousand years ago.

   Gentlemen Never forget that a girl is your friend only until she finds a boyfriend.

   New Year Resolutions are silly to me. If you're not on the right path already, the change of a new year won't help. Its just another day, just a different number.

   Y2K EVERYONE! Y2K! Oh wait that was 12 years ago...

   That sad moment when it´s already new year in Portugal and everybody in my country and all around the all are partying really hard and I´m in home. In ther internet. Sadness. Fap time.

   Happy New Year everybody! I know its a bit early but I often suffer from premature congratulations!. :(

   its time to shuffle the deck and throw out all the jokers.

   I got a fresh loaf of bread now I'm ready for my new years toast.

   bringing my pet Mogwai with me to a New Years Eve party.

   BREAKING NEWS: Apple has announced that there will be no 2012, only 2011S.

   ...... OMG ...... forget about worrying about the end of the Mayan Calendar on 12-21-2012!!!! ..... I just noticed that my Staples Calendar ends TONITE!!!!! ........ YIKES!!!!

   I was standing in front of the mirror eariler, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge. :(