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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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“Wow, that is a nice lookin' pair of Crocs.” Said no one ever.
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01-09-2012 14:19
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Sorry about last night texts. My phone was drunk.
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01-09-2012 13:56 by
BEGO
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Charlie Sheen says he's back to reality and is not crazy anymore. My ex-wife says the same thing.
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01-09-2012 13:47
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Your mama is so ugly when she went to a nude beach she was asked to cover her face.
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01-09-2012 12:52
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Enough respect to women who know how to roll bada$$ blunts.
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01-09-2012 12:47
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Taking my car to get fixed today. I don't need a bunch of little car mouths to feed!
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01-09-2012 12:39 by
eaglet1122
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It's so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people's heads
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01-09-2012 12:29
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Yesterday was the birthday of both Elvis Presley & David Bowie, neither of whom have gained any weight since 1977.
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01-09-2012 11:28 by
SuthernFukr
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The music business is always chasing trends. Adele sells millions, so RCA makes Kelly Clarkson gain 80 pounds.
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01-09-2012 11:27 by
SuthernFukr
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One time on Long Island I saw an all-Guido adaptation of 'Life is Beautiful' called 'Life is Freakin' Mint, Yo.'
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01-09-2012 11:25 by
SuthernFukr
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Beyonce gave birth by a C-section? Guess she didn't want her thing stretched out
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01-09-2012 11:09
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middle of the night and in my boring backyard. No gold to dig up and no dead bodies to bury...sigh
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01-09-2012 08:51 by
mtravica
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Sometimes I just feel like putting my head down, curling my arms in and falling forward to the ground... 'Cos that's the way I roll!
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01-09-2012 04:32 by
stalk_me
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Apparently this guy in the next stall doesn't want his feet tickled.
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01-09-2012 03:33
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He ate healthy, stayed fit, very well mannered, and got ran over by a truck.. what are the odds.
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01-09-2012 03:23
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I wish I could dance like a black guy. Or have epilepsy. Either way.
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01-09-2012 01:40 by
Doc Noland
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Alcohol-The best night time:slurring,headache,dehydration,drink spilling, charm killing,so you think you can dance"medicine."
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01-09-2012 01:34 by
Doc Noland
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Wow I guess David didn't beat Goliath, Tim Tebow did... what a game.
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01-09-2012 01:19 by
smeebert
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going to the dark side they have cookies
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01-09-2012 00:23
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That Chinese tattoo on your neck must be the symbol for unemployment.
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01-08-2012 23:46
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