Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon What if I am retarded, but my parents paid everyone to play along so I could be happy...
←Rate | 01-14-2012 00:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lot of women are too busy being a good man to attract one.
←Rate | 01-14-2012 00:40 by TRobbins/jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎#<( '-'< ) I was going to give you this waffle, ( >'-' )># but then I was like, ( >'#'< ) I'm hungry ( >'-'< ) so I ate it."
←Rate | 01-14-2012 00:05 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a passionate man. I like some things and love others. Example: I like coming and I love leaving.
←Rate | 01-14-2012 00:03 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fact: you can't wake someone who has Parkinson up by shaking him.
←Rate | 01-13-2012 23:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon can't make it rain cause, my coupons might drown me! xD
←Rate | 01-13-2012 21:23 by @yungrekay91 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anti-obesity ads featuring fat kids are causing controversy in Georgia. Unfortunately, none of them are forced to to the "truffle shuffle."
←Rate | 01-13-2012 20:58 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We found lunch in a homeless place" - Rihanna in a soup kitchen
←Rate | 01-13-2012 20:56 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was gonna update my status, but then I got high.
←Rate | 01-13-2012 20:47 by @yungrekay91 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ever hire me to work for you, don't pay me money, pay me with 12 cases of beer. That's where all the money is going anyway!
←Rate | 01-13-2012 20:43 by @yungrekay91 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What concert ticket costs 0.45 cents? .... 50 cent Feat. Nickleback....
←Rate | 01-13-2012 20:09 by NJS Comments (0)  


   messageicon men always notice it's cold when their nipples become larger than their balls
←Rate | 01-13-2012 19:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon go out tonight and sow your wild oats, then wake up tomorrow and pray like hell for crop failure.
←Rate | 01-13-2012 17:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Beer the 13th
←Rate | 01-13-2012 17:46 by Steve OH Comments (0)  


   messageicon 4000 women in Scotland may have breast implants with silicone intended for mattresses. Imagine. Boobs with memory foam and sleep numbers.
←Rate | 01-13-2012 17:29 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like jury duty because it's a fun reminder that one day my life could be in the hands of a guy wearing Velcro shoes.
←Rate | 01-13-2012 17:27 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Dude she has a bf" " Yeah so? Soccer has a goalie, doesn't mean you can't score"
←Rate | 01-13-2012 16:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if I'll still be able to get funny updates for my facebook on Jan.18th once the SOPA bill takes effect. Wait, will I even have a Facebook??!?
←Rate | 01-13-2012 16:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people complain about how broke/poor they are sitting at the bar drinking beer and smoking cigarettes?
←Rate | 01-13-2012 16:13 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing more stressful than a blind date is meeting a new drug dealer for the first time.
←Rate | 01-13-2012 16:10 by fadolo Comments (0)  



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