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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Your ass is like a door knob everyone gets a turn
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12-30-2011 11:55
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If one more person I see says "I'll see ya next year" chances are, they wont...
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12-30-2011 11:49 by
JG
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If steroids and other performance enhancing drugs are illegal for athletes, shouldn't Photoshop be illegal for models?
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12-30-2011 11:39 by
Czovczov
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Gay people are such immaculate dressers because they've spent a lot of time in the closet.
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12-30-2011 11:37 by
Baddie
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I'm starting to realize that Facebook has made more changes than Obama
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12-30-2011 11:25 by
Mikej
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I have been teased by friends and family that I spend way too much time on Facebook and that I really need to get a life. I am happy to say that I DO have a life outside of Facebook, but unfortunately I have forgotten the password for it.
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12-30-2011 11:23 by
jacksje4
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Having a "20 items or less" express lane at Wal-Mart is pointless when your customers don't know how to count.
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12-30-2011 10:50
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Most women are open to anything in bed if you make it clear you're not going to get anything in their hair.
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12-30-2011 10:37
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Demi Moore's next husband is swimming around in Justin Bieber's balls right now.
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12-30-2011 10:35 by
Baddie
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Did you know if you say "beer can" with a British accent, you have also just said "bacon" with a Jamaican accent?
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12-30-2011 10:31
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3 things that should never be broken. 1. Hearts 2. Promises 3. Condoms. Sometimes the breaking of # 3 causes 1 & 2 to break.”
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12-30-2011 10:29
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"Mmmm. I like that. That smells nice. I'm gonna piss on it." - Dogs. And R. Kelly.
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12-30-2011 10:27
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Fellas: Let a woman wear the pants in a relationship. They are coming off later anyways!
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12-30-2011 10:23 by
Czovczov
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that weird momment when ur pet comes in ur room, stares, then walks back out.
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12-30-2011 10:19
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Giving people the benefit of the doubt is usually just a polite way of temporarily overlooking their stupidity.
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12-30-2011 10:16 by
Czovczov
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Divorcees: Because one man's trash is another man's booty.
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12-30-2011 10:15
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Whoever invented Copy & Paste should have been awarded a Nobel Prize.
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12-30-2011 10:13
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When watching the DIY network your remote should automatically not allow you to change the channel or volume. So now you have to get up and......
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12-30-2011 10:07
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HIM: “You look like a Barbie!” HER: “Thanks. You mean tall, slim and beautiful right?” HIM: “Hell no! I mean plastic and without a brain.”
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12-30-2011 10:01 by
Czovczov
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You know it's time to do laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.
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12-30-2011 08:55 by
Brafty Crastard
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