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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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In honor of Dr. Martin Luther King I will be marching 12 miles to work today in the middle of the street....
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01-15-2012 14:11 by
jitney
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I once denied a friend request from the most interesting man in the world.
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01-15-2012 13:40
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What if random erections are actually ninja handjobs?
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01-15-2012 13:35 by
KISSTOPHER
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If you prefer a particular brand of bottled water, you should be sent away to a special camp.
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01-15-2012 13:06
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Husband:"My Olympic condoms are here, I think I'll wear the gold one 2night" Wife:"Couldnt you wear the silver one and come 2ND 4 a change"
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01-15-2012 12:56 by
scouser
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If you ask me, people who harm children should be strangled at birth.
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01-15-2012 12:38
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"And the flowers are still standing!"
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01-15-2012 11:32 by
Nick
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I would pay good money to see the mayhem guy from Allstate hook up with Flo from Progressive.
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01-15-2012 10:29 by
Aaron
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thank you Tom Brady for showing the world that you have way more GOD given talent than Tebow!
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01-15-2012 10:16 by
Bob
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Gotta check my undies; I just made a Joyful Noise.
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01-15-2012 09:43 by
SuthernFukr
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Marriage is like a deck of cards: In the beginning all you need are two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
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01-15-2012 09:32 by
MTQ
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When I was in the 10th grade I was taught $ex-ed by a 65-year-old nun, which is kind of like taking barbecue lessons from a vegetarian.
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01-15-2012 09:23 by
Mickey
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The last time a Christian was that thoroughly torn apart, Caligula was Emporer.
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01-15-2012 08:46 by
TebowH8R
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"Ooh, the game was tonight?"- God
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01-15-2012 08:31
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"It is better to have been on penici!!in, than to have never loved at all."
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01-15-2012 06:03 by
MTQ
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There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but to catch them, you must first become a Master Baiter. :))
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01-15-2012 04:13 by
jitney
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You don't have to like me, I'm not a Facebook status
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01-14-2012 23:55
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Not even FEMA could help the saints
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01-14-2012 23:52
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Too many hood guys not enough good guys..
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01-14-2012 23:00 by
L
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I don't consider myself a Tebow hater...that label is placed on we Tebow realists by his sycophantic minions. Just now...he threw a dead on pass...at the receiver's ankles.
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01-14-2012 22:51 by
Mickey
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