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Ladies, easy way to tell if a guy is married? Look into his eyes, if there is any sign of life left, he's single.
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01-19-2012 23:51 by
fadolo
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The single most suspicious thing you can do when someone walks into the room is to minimize your browser
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01-19-2012 23:48 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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Lil Wayne = 5% black. 95% tattoos.!!
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01-19-2012 23:42 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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"Let's talk dirty" ... "What DID YOU SAY?!" ... "I said it's 10:30...
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01-19-2012 23:40 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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If I was stranded on a desert island & could only bring 1 thing, I would bring Dora. That b!tch has everything in her backpack
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01-19-2012 23:32 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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The government closed Megaupload and Piratebay.org might be next.. But life goes on.. We will always find a way.. Mark my words.
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01-19-2012 23:30 by
Julius Andres
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I would love to see Flo @ Progressive hook up with Mayhem @ Allstate. Their kids would be bright, shiny, bundles of conniving, deceptive, destructive energy!
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01-19-2012 23:13 by
Daveb1191
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Why do people feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking “I'M GOING TO KILL.. Ah darn he's under a blanket”!!
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01-19-2012 22:38 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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why do you keep talking to me? what part of "I don't care" do you not understand?!
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01-19-2012 22:16
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My voice is so gay an awkward sounding.. I make it deeper at work on the phone or over the PA system to sound like "one of the guys"
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01-19-2012 21:52 by
@Seanathon77
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I love "words with friends" so much I wish they would make it a board game.
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01-19-2012 20:54 by
MikeM
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-Grandpa, how the World War III started?- Well kid, one day the FBI closed MegaUpload and MegaVideo, then...
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01-19-2012 20:22 by
@antontiru
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In class: 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: John had 4 apples. He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate the Sun's mass.
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01-19-2012 20:00 by
Aaron
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Just fell asleep in a library like a homeless person.
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01-19-2012 20:00 by
Aaron
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The other day I seen this written over a public urinal; "Don't be looking on the wall for something funny because the joke's in your hands!"
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01-19-2012 19:51 by
@raldo_gtm
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This just in!! The Kodak Film company has filed for bankruptcy......More details to come as the story develops
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01-19-2012 19:36
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In the Costa Concordia movie, the main character should be an Italian cruise ship crash investigator who was planning to retire this week.
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01-19-2012 18:05
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Today sucks but I really shouldn't complain. I've got it good compared to...well, dead people.
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01-19-2012 18:01
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It makes me sad that in this age of computers and video games, my children will never understand what it's like to be raised by television.
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01-19-2012 18:00
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Just read "The Three Musketeers," and it's true, the book is always better than the candy
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01-19-2012 17:57
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