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I dieted for a month and all I lost was 30 days 
Smoking doesnt kill people...People who are trying to quit smoking kill people
i thought about exercising all day long....I am sooo exhausted
Mondays aren't so bad....its my job that sucks a**
I'm one of those people that tried this at home
Do you know that feeling when you have a lot of work to do and you dont know where to start? Thats why I'm on Facebook
was planning to do something today, but I havent finished doing nothing from yesterday
two guys walk into a bar..i was one of them. I dont remember anything else
if you want to know anything, come over to my house...i have a kid that apparently knows everything
money talks....but all mine says is good bye
Lite: the new way to spell "light" now with 20% fewer letters
getting to work on time only makes the day longer
The BIG difference between men and women is that women will complain if they switched genders while men will appreciate the opportunity!
Because of KIAs recent recalls, the Raphamsters change their tune frm, "You can can with THis or you can with that" to "You can recall This, or you can recall That"
has no problem GETTING it together, I just can't KEEP it together
I haven't seen San Francisco fight that hard for something and then lose since Prop 8.
I can't possibly get eight hours of sleep a day because my work hours add up to seven
For guys, Valentines day is yet another lets-give-it-a-shot-at-having-sex-with-her day.
I got a dig bick. You this read wrong. You read that wrong too.
Be careful who you call your friends. I'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies 