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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don't trust it. Everyone knows it's impossible to drive without eating the fries.
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01-23-2012 11:04 by
SuthernFukr
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If you are what you eat, I'm fast, cheap, and bad for you.
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01-23-2012 11:02 by
SuthernFukr
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Say what you want about Buffalo Bill but that guy had phenomenal sewing skills.
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01-23-2012 11:00 by
SuthernFukr
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Do I still get to be one of those uppity "I don't watch TV" people if it's just because I sold mine for methadone?
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01-23-2012 10:54 by
SuthernFukr
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Facebook needs a “Drama of the day” section in my news feed.
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01-23-2012 10:24 by
BEGO
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The Chinese New Year starts today. It's the Year of the Dragon....but it's gonna take me a while to stop writing COCK on my checks.
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01-23-2012 09:50 | Tags: Filtered
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Welcome to Facebook, the official home of VANITY.
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01-23-2012 08:30
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SWAG=Secret Way Of Acting Gay.
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01-23-2012 08:22
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Tweeted ten different puns hoping atleast one would get a Retweet. Alas, no pun in ten did
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01-23-2012 07:02 by
@PunTastik
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Face down A55 up, thats the way I select donuts at Dunkin Donuts
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01-23-2012 06:44 by
Doc Noland
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I was cleaning up a bit last night and I thought my cat somehow got into the washing machine during the spin cycle! Then I realized it was just Steven Tyler yelling at somebody on TV. Whew!
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01-23-2012 06:44
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Only people in long distance or stalking relationships should be allowed to use the "IT'S COMPLICATED" option on their relationship status.
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01-23-2012 05:53
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To the Indian Cricket Team- Guys, please remember it's the FOURTH test tomorrow & not a FOUR-day test!
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01-23-2012 05:24 by
@Manish7080
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Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an "s" in it?
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01-23-2012 05:01 by
stalk_me
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i wish my grades smoked weed, so they would get higher
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01-23-2012 04:53 by
Mudda
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If you watch 127 hours in rewind it is actually a really nice film about a disabled man finding an arm in the desert.
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01-23-2012 04:27
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Banking institutions are more dangerous than standing armies.
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01-23-2012 04:23 by
Danmanz
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"Who's your wife?(:" "That b!tch over there....."
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01-23-2012 03:59
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People who have an option to sleep but are still jogging at 6 in the morning in this cold. *slow clap*
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01-23-2012 00:58
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That f^cked up moment when your Ex girlfriend tags you in a photo of her licking her new boyfriend's abs.
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01-23-2012 00:49
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