Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 3976 of 5593

   messageicon Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don't trust it. Everyone knows it's impossible to drive without eating the fries.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 11:04 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are what you eat, I'm fast, cheap, and bad for you.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 11:02 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Say what you want about Buffalo Bill but that guy had phenomenal sewing skills.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 11:00 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do I still get to be one of those uppity "I don't watch TV" people if it's just because I sold mine for methadone?
←Rate | 01-23-2012 10:54 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook needs a “Drama of the day” section in my news feed. 
←Rate | 01-23-2012 10:24 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Chinese New Year starts today. It's the Year of the Dragon....but it's gonna take me a while to stop writing COCK on my checks.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 09:50 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to Facebook, the official home of VANITY.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 08:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon SWAG=Secret Way Of Acting Gay.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 08:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tweeted ten different puns hoping atleast one would get a Retweet. Alas, no pun in ten did
←Rate | 01-23-2012 07:02 by @PunTastik Comments (0)  


   messageicon Face down A55 up, thats the way I select donuts at Dunkin Donuts
←Rate | 01-23-2012 06:44 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was cleaning up a bit last night and I thought my cat somehow got into the washing machine during the spin cycle! Then I realized it was just Steven Tyler yelling at somebody on TV. Whew!
←Rate | 01-23-2012 06:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only people in long distance or stalking relationships should be allowed to use the "IT'S COMPLICATED" option on their relationship status.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 05:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the Indian Cricket Team- Guys, please remember it's the FOURTH test tomorrow & not a FOUR-day test!
←Rate | 01-23-2012 05:24 by @Manish7080 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an "s" in it?
←Rate | 01-23-2012 05:01 by stalk_me Comments (0)  


   messageicon i wish my grades smoked weed, so they would get higher
←Rate | 01-23-2012 04:53 by Mudda Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you watch 127 hours in rewind it is actually a really nice film about a disabled man finding an arm in the desert.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 04:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Banking institutions are more dangerous than standing armies.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 04:23 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Who's your wife?(:" "That b!tch over there....."
←Rate | 01-23-2012 03:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who have an option to sleep but are still jogging at 6 in the morning in this cold. *slow clap*
←Rate | 01-23-2012 00:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That f^cked up moment when your Ex girlfriend tags you in a photo of her licking her new boyfriend's abs.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 00:49 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left