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im smart because I can play stupid to perfection 
attended a fundraiser for a new women's shelter called "Tempura House"...apparently they work with Lightly battered women..
If I worked at a restaurent on Valentine's Day I would put a fake engagement ring in ever girl's drink !
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
whenever people ask me why I am putting on so much weight, I like to answer with,"Well, trying to grow brea$ts so I can get more likes on my status updates!"
You know its tax season when people start posting pictures of their rent money
The dislikes for the above post...guess where THEY live?
You can take the "trash" out of the trailer, but you can't take the "trailer" out of the trash.
6.9 billion people, 6.9 billion different opinions about life, the world, and God.
No, I'm not cheap, I'm just smart with my money.
I have a ton of children's book ideas. Has anyone ever done an uplifting tale about a kitten on the Titanic?
Internet thugs, they all need hugs.
Being able to say no is a talent.
I touched her hand. Her hand touched her boob. By the transitive property, I got some boob. Algebra's awesome!
She told me to make my own sandwich. I told her to make her own money.
I don't always eat what is right. Sometimes I eat what is left.
Don't be judgmental. We're all screwed up.
teacher: are you sleeping in my class? student: no, uh, a bug flew in my eye and I'm trying to suffocate it. :D
a good night is when you hug Ur teddy ;a horror night I when the teddy hugs you back
The day I can't help a freiend is the day I have something better to do 