Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.!!

   Why limit happy to just an hour?

   You know what commercial I really hate? All of em.

   I gave this guy a sausage and he traded me a seabird... It was then I realized I had taken a tern for the wurst.

   I wonder if anyone who played Operation as a kid grew up to be a doctor or anyone who played Monopoly grew up to be a thimble.

   My Favorite color is Booze!!

   Knock knock. Who's there? Weekend! Weekend who? 'We can end' working for a couple of days thank you very much!!!

   Wine is constant proof that God loves us & loves to see us happy:)

   Wishes my lovehandles would love somebody else!

   If your happy and you know it, Go away

   "I save money by purchasing really gay super small super tight t-shirts instead of Under Armour"

   Todays forcast is sarcastic with a 60% chance of STFU!! Now to Bob with sports....

   Let's talk dirty" ... "What DID YOU SAY?!" ... "I said it's 10:30...

   Its a sad day. Signed, Epstein's Mother

   Resistance is Not Futile...it's Voltage divided by Current

   This is how my week goes: Mooooooooooooonday Tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday Weeeeeeeeeeednesday Thuuuuuuuuuuursday FriSatSun.

   "I clearly remember the first time I met Dhritarashtra. It was a blind date. - Gandhari.

   Never Laugh at your wife's Choice.....You are one of them

   When finding someone to date, drinking compatibility is more important than you think

   you know....everything I needed to know about life, I learned in kindergarten....if you poop your pants....they let you go home....