Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Dear Mr. Kotter, Juan was unable to complete his homework because he had to take me to the Doctor for my lumbago. Signed, Epstein's Mother RIP Robert Hegyes
←Rate | 01-28-2012 09:30 by CHUCK Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be careful who you call friends. I'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
←Rate | 01-28-2012 09:29 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I don't know why poor people hate me. There's always a new refrigerator box in my front yard for them to use."~ Rush Limbaugh
←Rate | 01-28-2012 09:15 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Forget Vi@gra. They need to invent a pill that'll make a girl like me for four hours.
←Rate | 01-28-2012 09:13 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear fake profile with bikini pics that just friend requested me: 1. I have a great memory for hot chicks; I don't know you. 2. 52 of our "mutual friends" are idiots. 3.They're all guys......color me surprised.
←Rate | 01-28-2012 09:04 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon ATTENTION LADIES!, If he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC;
←Rate | 01-28-2012 08:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just read a news article with the headline "Woman beats off rapist" and I thought, "Well, that seems like a reasonable compromise...."
←Rate | 01-28-2012 08:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fellas: She exercises with a Shake Weight to perfect her hand job, marry her
←Rate | 01-28-2012 07:43 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When playing Modern Warfare 3 video game, is the menu suppose to…okay, I guess by now the girls have stopped reading. So fellas, any of you out there get nervous when make up sex starts with a BJ?
←Rate | 01-28-2012 07:41 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm like a newborn baby when I wake up with a hangover. Unaware of my surroundings, sensitive to light and covered in God knows what.
←Rate | 01-28-2012 07:36 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
←Rate | 01-28-2012 07:33 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon UHHHHHHHH!!!.....UHHHHHHHH!!!!.....UHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!....UHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Oh, sorry; just playing tennis with myself.
←Rate | 01-28-2012 02:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid, I remember trying to stay up all night until the sun came up was such a challenge and so cool. Now its almost a ritual and dreaded.
←Rate | 01-28-2012 02:09 by Reznor Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks peeple hoo dont no how to spel shuldnt make up status's for da hole wurld to see.
←Rate | 01-28-2012 01:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Allstate guy doesn't count as a black friend.
←Rate | 01-28-2012 00:37 by Fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon The #1 song when you were born is a great idea, however, if they came out with an app that gave the #1 song when you died, I think I would stop listening to music
←Rate | 01-28-2012 00:31 by sbenj69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon HAPPY HOUR - Where the worst selling and nastiest tasting alcoholic beverages are sold for half price to a bunch of alcoholics too drunk to notice.
←Rate | 01-28-2012 00:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon when you have a fat friend, there are no seesaws..only catapults
←Rate | 01-28-2012 00:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ignores phone call* -Text them- “You called me?”
←Rate | 01-27-2012 22:25 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon PROFILE PICTURES: What people want other people to think they look like. TAGGED PICTURES: What they actually look like.
←Rate | 01-27-2012 22:24 by BEGO Comments (0)  



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