Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Ever see a kid so ugly, you felt sorry for their parents for having to look at them

   found some of my old action figures, so what if Mr. T is driving The General Lee, and GI Joe has to wear daisy dukes..

   you know you're lazy when bowling wears you out

   work face: open mouth, look up, avoid eye contact, never get asked to do anything important again

   We all know someone who breathes way too damn loud.

   If I'm looking for something and you ask me where did I see it last, I will slap the last person who asked me a dumb question.

   Religion- The longest game of Simon says ever.

   you can quit with the whole "limited time offer" Proactiv, you've always been $19.95..

   I think women should give it up for lent, if you know what I mean ;)

   I only use medical marijuana to treat PMS symptoms. It really helps me forget how much of a b!tch my girlfriend is being.

   God should have made stupidity painful.

   After careful consideration I've decided i'm giving up using autocorrect on my iPhone for Kent

   What's that thing that's like Photoshop except way easier to use and it's for real life? Oh yeah, vodka.

   I get so emotional when you're not around. That emotion is called joy.

   I must be cruel only to be kind. Yes, thy rear does look big in that dress.

   Guns don't kill people. Fathers with pretty daughters do.

   When you find the right person, you shouldn't even be able to tell the difference between being "single" or in a "relationship". That's the key. 

   If you don't believe that Love is Blind. Look at Howard Wolowitz and Bernadette Rostenkowski.

   B!tch on hardcore pawn got called..'pepperoni ass' I think America jus got its new catch phrase

   Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask dumb questions.