Funny Status Messages

   Wife: Have you seen the broom? Me: Where did you put it when you landed?

   I remember when you all were funny.

   Of course Hamas has rejected the United States offers. Because he's a terrible negotiator. He's laughed at by most of the planet and no one respects him because he's such a goof.

   It's so funny that we're annoying this one loser so much lmfao

   What's sad is our new leftist extremist has no audience anywhere else, so he's decided to set up shop here. A dying site that hasn't been poignant in years.

   In 3,025 years, life will either be really good or really bad. It's 5050.

   So you guys all have matching white hoods and viagra subscriptions or what?

   So you guys all have matching Hamas scarves or what?

   See? Anything you can do, we can do better.

   Buckle up… if in the next 12 years there's only repuklicans and repedolicans and rapeublicans in office, the United States will lose its superpower title and become a wasteland of embarrassment and failure as other countries cancel it.

   Buckle up…the next 12 years will have no Dem in office. All we do is win on a daily basis now.

   TDSmania loves men who love kids a little to hard. Are you trying to say something to all of us?

   He’s only on the second month and now France wants the Statue Of Liberty back LOL.

   He’s on the second month of a rent free 4 year lease he’s taken out in your heads. Cry harder.

   The towels were so thick at the hotel, I could barely shut my suitcase.

   A nickel isn't worth a dime nowadays.

   If you don't watch where you're going, you might end up someplace else.

   Elon musk is not the richest man in the world. His boss is. Who's his boss? Vladimir Putin

   The meat at Taco Bell has been dyed green for St. Patrick's Day. So not only are they being festive, but they're also paying tribute to Melania's vag bwahahaha

   And the destruction of your country continues as we're watching from the sidelines. - Mr Burns voice - "Excellent".