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To ease my mind, I just pretend the Die Hard sequels were written and directed by Hans Gruber as he fell from Nakatomi Plaza. 
id hate to be a vegetarian in Russia....everything suddenly tastes a little meteor
Confession: sometimes, right at the moment of climax, I forget about Dre.
Never text your wife and your gal pal at the same time...one misplaced "love you" can confuse everything
Just think... before Facebook all of this crazy s%*t was floating around in people's heads.
And the worlds biggest fan of the band Bullet for My Valentine goes to... Oscar Pistorius!!
Remember Kids: 'Stop, Drop and Roll' doesn't work in Hell ツ
Just found out my Homeowner's Insurance policy does not have adequate roof coverage that covers Meteors. It never ends.....
I wish that stupid meteorite would have hit my place of work during my day off.
How do all these dudes driving Smart Cars find room in them for all the p ussy they're pulling in?
I'm horrible with women. Probably because I only know like 3 shades of gray.
I ran out of deodorant this morning, so I spritzed on some windex. Now birds keep crashing into my armpits :(
It’s frightening how much trust we put in toilet spray!
I like it when they surprise you with that little silica gel candy in new shoes. New sneakers and a snack!
Birds eye have recalled all there fish products as the contain traces of sea horse...
You can't corner the Dorner.
I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn't affect the price of Vodka!
I think it is high time Obama gets serious on meteorite control.....
get to drilling Bruce Willis.
That Russian meteor footage is anice reminder that we are flying through the universe in an organic spaceship with no roof 