Funny Status Messages

   I give head.

   Pit Bulls should be illegal. Period.

   They should've never given jig-a-boos and women the right to vote.

   I subscribed to Bass Pro Shop's newsletter, but I haven't been able to read it because I don't open fishing emails

   Pikachu puked all over my grandmother

   Walmart Mexico is investing 6 billion in Mexico. The USA has nothing to do with it other than making a profit off of Walmart Mexico.

   Ford is moving four factories back to the USA opening up 25,000 jobs. But please, keep telling me tariffs don't work.

   Technology will facilitate deception, domination, and surveillance too big to fail. The tentacles of the Squid Game now include the blood in our veins.

   Walmart's Mexico unit said on Thursday it would invest more than $6 billion in the country this year

   Jeeziz. Walmart's Mexico unit said on Thursday it would invest more than $6 billion in the country this year.

   That was a fun way to kill 10 minutes. See you dumbass sheep losers with no creativity whatsoever tomorrow.

   ABC News An unthinkable breach of national security CBS News An unthinkable breach of national security MSNBC An unthinkable breach of national security CNN An unthinkable breach of national security Fox We've all texted the wrong person befor

   OF COURSE HE TWEETS AT 3 A.M. THAT'S 11 A.M. HERE IN MOSCOW, WHERE HE GETS HIS ORDERS FROM. Good dog.

   THE "BUT HER EMAILS" CROWD IS REAAAL QUIET RIGHT NOW. You're all like one big f'ing SNL skit LOL

   People everywhere are now referring to Pete Hegseth as “WhiskeyLeaks” and we're kinda mad that we didn’t think of it first.

   BREAKING NEWS JD and Usha Vance trip to Greenland canceled after US officials couldn't find a single resident who wanted to greet them BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

   BREAKING NEWS RFK admits to being on Jeffrey Epstein's jet at least twice.

   45 year-old M*G* man looking for 13-year-old M*G* boy for fun and discreet visits behind the local waterpark this summer.

   If not for our insanely stupid administration, the l*fticles wouldn't ever have anything to make fun of. Wait..... that came out wrong.

   The States used to be a respected, powerful nation. Now, you're being laughed at and mocked by the entire world. And the majority of your country. Comedians, talkshow hosts, everyone lol. You're all clown shoes. Weak, stupid and embarrassing.