Funny Status Messages

   unique just like everyone in here!

   brought a wind machine to the DMV so I could get the perfect license pic! (This is Hollywood afterall).

   you could single handedly make my dreams come true! or you could use two hands.

   Based on a true story

   my name, don't wear it out! Heh heh!

   could talk a glass eye to sleep!

   an animal rights activist against fur but not leather because it's easier to harass rich old ladies instead of motorcycle gangs.

   Mirror Mirror On the wall, Who has the Meanest Swagga of them All?

   if Facebook and Myspace were 9 to 5 jobs, then unemployment would cease to exist in our economy.

   If twitter went away, would anyone care?

   funny how guys show off there muscles just to get a woman's attention on here, but never show off brains........let alone their hearts.

   Twitter: The site where people signaficantly want to get stalked(Follow) and tell people their business where nobody cares. Lol....really. But they love it

   If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

   No one is a virgin, the world screws us all.

   I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

   Avoid eating nuts and crackers, you are what you eat!

   so straight he makes a staright line look curved

   A little bird ,With a little bill. Sat upon my windowsill. I fed it up with bits of bread. And then I crushed his stupid freakin head! OOOOO YEA

   "Impotence" natures way of saying "No Hard Feelings"

   can speaks spanish in french..