Funny Status Messages

   What's better???????.... A hot woman drinking more than you or that same woman buying you drinks?

   like the real live version of the state fair..

   Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.

   This other dude at a store just asked me if tulips were annuals or perrinials. I should probably change out of this pink shirt.

   In 2011 the government will start killing all mentally challenged people. I started crying when I thought of you. Run my little retard, save yourself.

   My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.

   Don't text and walk at the same time. Trust me, that street lamp is closer than you think..

   when I die, bury me with all my debts and a cell phone so I can haunt them for a change.

   I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into her again.

   (sigh) women

   Come with me, and you'll be, in a world of pure hallucinations

   a 5 yr old who must be alot smarter than me, because I din't know everything until I was a teenager

   if your lookin for Sympathy it is in the dictionary between S*it and Syphilis...

   s it possible to set the Gulf of Mexico on fire and turn it into a giant fish fry?

   The U.N. is trying to outlaw the use of lol since it is the international symbol for a drowning person.

   did it all for the nookie

   going to help support the Greek Debt Crisis by eating more Greek Dressing . . . .and Bakliva

   Ever look at someone and think, "Nice cage, no bird"?

   carrying groceries to the house the other night, when Justin Bieber played on my mp3 player. Had to bang my head on the trunk until my earphones fell out.

   the Pill, something that prevents women from becoming mothers turns 50 on Mother's Day. Coincidence??