Funny Status Messages

   Anyone noticed that "studying" is like "student" and "dying" put together?

   it seems like alot of people get great comments when they change there relationship status to "Single" so I'm gonna be in a temporary relationship just to let you all know I'm still single?

   waiting for the global warming people to push for the abolishment of the two utensil system by legislating the mandantory use of the spork to cut down on green house emmissions...it could happen!

   still mad at my friend for stealing my Hannah Montanna Poster! Grow up!!"

   i realized I was getting old today when I discovered my first grey pubic hair."Dont worry, I wasnt as freeked out as the rest of the people in the elivator", I got over it...

   My arms are so sore from playing Wii, I can't even wank it.

   Oatmeal is only good for the first 8 bites...then you start playing with it.

   Good morning! Looks like you need a shot of wake the fok up!?

   it is really satisfying to know, now that my 2 year old is almost done with diapers, I will probably be the next one that needs them...

   wants to be one of those people who, when he reaches the end of his life, gets their head cryogenically frozen, wakes up in a new, strong, young body 10,000 years in the future and proceeds to lead the human race to victory over the alien insect overlords

   says the difference between ORAL SEX & ANAL SEX,,,,,,,,,,, ,, is ORAL SEX will make your day but ANAL SEX will make your hole weak.......

   a doctor goes into work one day and asks his secretaryif it was wrong to have sex with his patients. runs him out of office and screams "OF COURSE UR A VET!!!

   Two mancode violations to report this week: caught a guy reading his horoscope out loud to his friends, and caught wind at work that one of my friends rode on the back of another guy's motorcycle. Flagrant.

   Does anybody else feel the intense awkwardness when a woman doesn't choose the iron in a game of Monopoly?

   hates allergy season!!! currently OD'ing on Allegra

   I'm having trouble sleeping. I guess i'd better get up from under my desk and get some work done.

   An elephant to a naked man 'how do you breath through that thing'

   Ever wonder if you ordered something online, forget what you ordered and get mad because it still hasn't came yet?

   still mad at my friend for stealing my Tom & Jerry Poster! Grow up!!"

   was listening to the word abolishionist today used in the news, so I invented a new word that I am....an "Obamalishonist"...... me likey soooo much !! LOL