Funny Status Messages

   Who says women don't like simple, cheap things..we like guys don't we?

   If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman - or a new car. ....

   volunteering at the nursing home today, she's hiding false teeth instead of Easter eggs for the Easter hunt.

   looking for a cute little bunny with a nice set of eggs

   Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

   Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

   Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

   Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

   I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

   The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

   Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

   "There is always the one girl out there that got away. Guys have that ... and serial killers have that."

   I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

   - So what if I can't spell armaggedon?..... It's not the end of the world. .....

   Who Cares about the Twilight Sparkly Drama...Give me the "Underworld" Hot Vampire on Lycan Action anyday!!!

   you may bang hundreds of girls,but your heart belongs to one girl only....so keep banging till you find her.

   If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved? America!

   Tip for the day: Don't throw manure into the wind.

   no easter bunnies were harmed in the making of this status

   better to know and be disappointed, than to never know and always wonder..