Funny Status Messages

   Oh April Fool's day, where everyone teeter-totters between brilliance and insanity. Welcome to my World!!

   a boy walked in on his mom and dad having sex. His dad said "we're making you a brother/sister" the boy replies "do her doggie style, I'd rather have a puppie"

   Your chick so easy a caveman can do it! ~t.white~

   "As I said before,I never repeat myself"

   to quit looking at my status

   Butterflies in the belly and weak knees...The 2 best feeling in the world!

   When you think all the way back to being sperm, we are all winners.

   Spell SWIMS upside down... this is going to blow your mind!

   God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily.

   Do not follow, for I may not lead. Do not lead, for I may not follow. Just go over there somewhere, please?

   Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.

   I got some new underwear yesterday. Well, they were new to me.

   Wishing all a Happy Easter, and hoping the Easter Bunny craps out a huge chocolate filled egg for you!-)

   In an argument, a woman always has the last word. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

   I'm busier than a one-toothed man in a corn-on-the-cob eating contest.

   They call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

   Put a diaper on that mouth cuz you talk a lot of crap...

   Going to go back in time and have sex with all the Golden Girls, and Angela Lansbery.

   When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.

   The weather over here is terrible. Last night I dreamt it actually stopped raining. I love a good dry dream.