Funny Status Messages

   brought sexy back. I was charged a 10% restocking fee.

   £1|{3 0h m¥ 90Ð (4n ¥0µ $p34|{ 3n9£1$h

   MoooooooM tell Boredom to leave me the F#ck Alone!!!!!!

   Your mama's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed just to measure how long she slept.

   If I had a kid at 16 I'd get my A$$ whooped, not a TV show.

   have you ever slept so good you couldn't wait to do it again as soon as you woke up?

   turning japanese

   can't seem to remember to forget you

   Watagatapitusberry!

   I wish the government would takeover all the Farmville land and sell it off Facebook to pay down the national debt

   Today, I went to meet a girl I met on facebook. When I met her, I was shocked to see that her actual appearance didn't match that of her facebook pic. The words "Stock Photo" weren't even written on her Forehead.

   you spin my head right round, right round..but thats a good thing, it was outta wack from checking out that guy ;)

   I told my wife I wanted breakfast in bed in the morning. She said go sleep in the kitchen.

   i feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket orrrrr something!!!!

   What do you do if your about to die in front of a candy store? Eat a life saver :)

   dropped it like it's hot BUT before it even hit the ground....caught it like a cold...WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

   hates that the jeopardy theme song is stuck in my head. Its giving me a false sense of anxiety!!

   I'm fed up with my brain remembering crap I'd like to forget and forgetting crap I'd like to remember!

   I'm fed up with my brain remembering crap I'd like to forget and forgetting crap I'd like to remember!

   I'm fed up with my brain remembering crap I'd like to forget and forgetting crap I'd like to remember!