Funny Status Messages

   Blessings are not counted in gold or dividends,

   You can only have so many Green M&M's before your like, WOW! I Really want A Red One!

   to all the wackos who believe in global warming try coming to Idaho in the middle of March..It'll snow

   needs a Facebook button that says "What you just posted makes me want to stab you."

   wishes he could throw magic dust on my problems to make them disappear. Like a wizard. Or a crack addict.

   now listed as single but in a relationship,its complicated.

   Change is inevitable... Unless your a vending machine

   walked into a shop this morning when the woman working said "if you need anything, I'm Jill". I haven't met anyone with a conditional identity before.

   tired of following his dreams, he/she is just gonna ask where they are going and hook up with them later

   laughing at the homeless and punching the elderly!

   needs a Facebook button that says "What you just posted makes me want to punch you in the face." Put it beside the "Like" button. Just a suggestion.

   wants to play co-ed naked twister with a couple hot chicks.

   eating chocolate he found in the backyard.

   knows that your husband isn't realy taking tennis lessons on Sundays...

   Can anyone help me with some DIY plumbing? I've been looking for a book for beginners by someone called Lee King. Anyone?

   hated it when old aunts used to come up to her at weddings, poke her in the ribs and cackle, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

   not the empire but I still strike back...

   like this and like that and like this and uh

   vertically challenged

   drinking tequila in the shower....09:07 AM