Funny Status Messages

   's son left his action figures in the bathtub, and Batman is now most definitely in the wrong Batcave!

   sure i'll sign oprah's pledge to make my car a cell free zone... it'll free up both hands to hold my grey goose bottle.

   "Every leader that is willing to go forward has got to get used to getting wounded and scarred by those he's willing to live and die for."

   wondering if I get stopped for speeding in a Toyota can I tell the officer I had a "Prius-exisiting condition?"

   You are the rain to my showers, the April to my flowers, the fresh to my air, you are the sun to my set, you make my day beautiful.

   that a keg in your back pocket? Cause I'd tap it

   gonna stand outside, so when people ask where I am you can tell them "He's outstanding!"

   traveling through a maze.. In other words he's amazing

   St. Patricks Day. The only time of the year when people are proud of having a bit of Irish in them.

   The richest person is not the one who has the most,while he is the one who needs less.

   its all fun and games until someone presses charges!

   I had a fight with the wife and didn't see her for three days... Then the swelling went down and I could see her out of one eye

   I bet Curious George's owner is getting his azz pinched off today for St Patty's Day

   Today's Tip: Be kind to your fellow man....remember to courtesy flush.

   The best part of life is when your family becomes your friends, and your friends become your family.

   riding the escalator the other day, and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half..

   would like the PETA people not to have a cow because some people like to eat a good steak.

   St. Patrick -- one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish.

   on a dating site and asked if could add the girl to facebook... her response "dont think we are quite there yet" its official facebook is the new 1st base!

   believes Jimmy Buffet said it best. . . "Why dont we get drunk and screw?" Happy St. Patrick's and Hump Day everyone!!!