Funny Status Messages

   if you wear dog tags as a "fashion accesory", YOU'RE WRONG!

   Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

   even if I got a hold of your social security number, I wouldn't know what to do with it.

   wondering how many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

   concerned your choice in alcoholic beverages is now based on calorie count rather than intoxication efficiency

   september ends tomorrow..so dont forget to wake me up!!!

   Thinks that the difference between o.j simpson and liverpool is that o.j had a good defense

   I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.

   n't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

   .......and thats how I got kicked in the balls by Mickey Mouse!!!

   Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who's self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”

   The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a

   Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.

   at the time of michael jackson's death, the doctor looked at his watched and reported that "the big hand was touching the little hand"...:D

   wondering : is life only about party, alcohol, drugs and sex ?

   just completed Step 1) Cut a hole in a box.

   Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat Minor

   running around the house with a towel tied around his neck with only his boxers on and a Giant "S" written on his Chest Yelling "This Looks Like a Job for..."

   used to have superpowers, but his psychiatrist took them away...

   says if it wasn't for the last minute, I wouldn't get anything done!