Funny Status Messages

   if you always stop to smell the roses, sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

   || You have one advantage over me. You can kiss my ass, I can't.

   can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either.

   now regrets his attempt to see how many bananas he could eat in 10 mins

   feels like something funny is gonna happen...I'm sitting next to a blackman, whiteman and a chineseman. I'm just waiting on the punchline!

   if Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all of her friends?!

   can cure Narcolepsy just by walking into the Room

   thinks 'friends with benefits' should came with a health care package..

   Milton's stapler!

   if youre gonna be two faced, sweetie, at least make one of them pretty.

   What's better?..A hot woman drinking more than you or that same woman buying you drinks?

   doesnt want to die, not because he is afraid of death but because he is worried about all the crap people will find on his computer when hes gone.

   life is good when you're good at what's good to be good at in life

   Behind my smile is everything u'll never understand...

   Just finished a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 3-5 years.

   Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So lets all get wasted and have the time of our lives!

   when life handsyou lemons,make Grilled King Prawn Salad with Lemon, Chilli and Dill Sauce

   on the road. His cynicism is riding shotgun.

   "It's 10:30 am and I am sitting here at the bar with my probation officer and my AA sponser and we are on our 5th crown and coke....and I am now starting to think that maybe.....just maybe.....I need to re-analyze my life and the path I am taking..."

   s of to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of prescription medication.