Funny Status Messages

   If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, eating magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music... think about it.

   loves how obama gives a speech to kids about the importance of school while 3/4 of the kids in the country are IN school

   Drink what you will. Drink what you like. If you drinking with me you'll be under the table tonight. OUT DRINKING!

   My Facebook message can beat up yours!

   "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm taking a shower, So I won't smell like you! "

   "Doh!, the stuff that buys me beer, Ray, the guy who sells me beer, Me, the one who drinks the beer.Far, a long run to get beer, So, I'll have another beer, La, I'll have another beer, Tea, no thanks I'm drinking beer and that's why I'm not here! "

   Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

   thinks this Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

   Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

   Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life

   gaming on PS3 with his neighbors pet. Sadly enough the dog is winning.

   did it all for the Nookie.

   Went swimming.. right after eating a tuna fish-sandwich

   Drank milk that expired yesterday

   thinks sometimes we need to stop analysing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out how we feel, stop deciding what we want and just see what happens…

   just heard about the scientist that wants to rename the planet Uranus because it's rude. It's true, Google it! I reckon that's a damn good idea...let's call it Urectum instead.

   wondering if the last one out could possibly switch off the light at the end of the tunnel?

   Yes I know it's 09/09/09 I don't need 100 text messages letting me know. I have a calendar!

   saving a lot on his insurance by not paing the bill.

   hasn't spoken to bigfoot in a while.