Funny Status Messages

   I don't know what to do now that we're apart; I don't know how to live without the other half of my heart......

   Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.

   A Million Words Would Not Bring You Back, I Know Because I've Tried. Neither Would A Million Tears, I Know Because I've Cried.........

   Everything is "Prewritten" & Nothing Can Be "Re-Written"! So,Live the Best & Leave The Rest.......

   Foolish man give woman Grand Piano, wise man give woman Upright Organ..

   curiosity overpowers knowledge.. Now I have a midget transvestite prostitue knocking on my door

   just found an awesome outdoor puerto rican mechanic shop! oh wait, its just the autozone parking lot...

   preferred by 9 out of 10 dentists over the other leading brand.

   ignored the lawful commands of his alarm clock this morning.

   will even let you hold the remote control

   Vegetarian is an old Indian word meaning "bad hunter."

   Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity."

   Forgiveness is not an occasional act: it is a permanent attitude."

   Smooth seas do not make for a skillful sailor.

   Better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness."

   When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion."

   Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever."

   Age is not important unless you're a cheese or Wine.

   I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.

   Look at the evil people in the world, Saddam Hussein, Hitler, Stalin what do they all have in common? Mustaches