gay jeffery Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:22 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon facebook needs a "settle down" button you tap on a friend's profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately.
←Rate | 06-15-2012 09:19 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's complicated" is just code for, "I'm willing to cheat."
←Rate | 06-11-2012 18:02 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon As I've gotten older, every time I look in the mirror I see my dad more and more. I guess its time to move out, its starting to get weird.
←Rate | 06-09-2012 07:52 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just when I thought I hit rock bottom, a wild trap door appears and prove me wrong.
←Rate | 06-11-2012 13:11 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have just enough ketchup packets in my desk drawer at work to successfully fake my own death
←Rate | 06-10-2012 05:14 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I fingered you in 8th grade. I don't want to have a 15 minute conversation with you and your husband at Best Buy.
←Rate | 06-02-2012 13:10 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon A dog will never borrow money from you, and that's why he's man's best friend.
←Rate | 06-09-2012 08:04 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon i do believe my fake laugh is ready to go pro.
←Rate | 06-13-2012 03:01 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon surprisingly Going on a killing spree has a minimal impact on your credit score.
←Rate | 06-11-2012 13:35 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hey Let's agree to disagree, and then accomplish nothing as we focus on our reelections." -Congress
←Rate | 06-24-2012 15:48 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going to a strip club in the middle of the day can be so depressing. Especially if you catch the end of your mom's shift.
←Rate | 06-02-2012 02:26 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon Def Need a " facebook filter" to prevent all the weddings and babies from showing up on my feed.
←Rate | 06-24-2012 15:44 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when I read something on her3 thats so funny that I burst out laughing it makes my neighbors realize that I'm hiding under their bed.
←Rate | 06-06-2012 02:06 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting really into filling life's emptiness with carbs.
←Rate | 06-21-2012 08:44 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I can see you, you're invading my personal space.
←Rate | 06-15-2012 02:29 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I texted my girlfriend "goodnight, love you" but accidentally sent it to my boss. Now Its awkward, cause he holds my hand during meetings.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 07:25 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon heyy Good work! everyone trying to take down big corporations with their statuses on facebook, posted from macbooks, paid for with credit cards.
←Rate | 06-25-2012 01:19 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon Reasons people claim to be gay: 3% - are actually gay 97% - forgot to log out of facebook
←Rate | 06-01-2012 07:57 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon Best magic trick I ever pulled was making a house a boat and two motorcycles disappear into bag of cocaine.
←Rate | 06-02-2012 13:15 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  



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