Prince Shawn Funny Status Messages
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When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say..
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If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it
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wonders how different the world would be if bad and stupid people came with warning labels
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gave up trying to understand women years ago. Women understand women and they hate each other.
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disappointed that 25% of prostitutes use Facebook to solicit clients and not a single one has ever contacted him!
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If you are going to cheat, make sure she isn't wearing glitter.
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once you learn how to be happy, you won't tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.
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hates when the microwave decides to heat his plate, but not his food.
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Sex, Food, Sleep, & Poops. General male happiness depends on how good these 4 things are at any given time.
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after all is said and done, a lot more will have been said than done.
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I once asked an old man: Which is more important to love or to be loved? He replied: which is more important to a bird, the left wing or the right wing?
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I love make up sex. Especially with Katy Perry. I make up sex with her all the time.
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Thank you internet. before you came along, I had to stare out the window to laugh at strangers.
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his own bunny rabbit and will name him George and hug him and pet him and squeeze him
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assumes "don't try this at home" really means do it at a friend's house or when your parents aren't around.
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thinks it is always a good idea to know someone's giving-to-receiving ratio before dating them.
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Love means nothing in tennis, but it's everything in life
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If you don't have anything nice to say, feel free to come sit with me and we can make fun of people together.
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your outfit makes you look like a stripper. A high end stripper for governors and athletes, but a stripper nonetheless.
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knows a relationship is going well when she feels comfortable taking a crap at his place.
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