FLA PAULY Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Heading to the polls to vote for the fifth time this week!!!!...... God I love living in the state of Florida!!!!
←Rate | 11-06-2012 07:03 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Nothing but Ben Affleck/Batman crap. Why the hell am I even here??" -NSA guy
←Rate | 08-24-2013 04:10 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just kicked an empty soda can and somehow scored a goal against Brazil.
←Rate | 07-10-2014 05:17 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm tired of hearing about Republicans this and Democrats that. For Christ's sake people, don't you realize on July 15th the Twinkie comes back?!?!?!?!
←Rate | 06-27-2013 12:22 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Kardashian has given birth. No news on how big the litter.
←Rate | 06-16-2013 11:00 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life has never experienced two candy bars falling down at the same time from a vending machine!!!!
←Rate | 11-01-2012 10:34 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Westboro Batist Church founder dead!!!! Who's up for a funeral protest?!?!?!
←Rate | 03-20-2014 12:01 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Met Taylor Swift at the airport this morning and complimented her on her dress. Now she's sitting in a tree outside my window in a wedding dress with a guitar..... This can't be good!!!
←Rate | 04-06-2013 15:34 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm shocked that Chris Christie would be involved in the blocking of a major artery.
←Rate | 01-09-2014 06:06 by FLA PAULY Comments (1)  


   messageicon I hope when I get to hell, I'll be the guy that gets picked to torture these Westboro Baptist pricks. That would be Heaven for me!!!
←Rate | 12-16-2012 12:14 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Read Putin's Op-Ed in the New York Times. This crap would have been a lot more believable if after every paragraph he said "....Mr. Bond."
←Rate | 09-13-2013 04:35 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend just asked me to make her feel special. So I gave her a helmet and a box of crayons.
←Rate | 09-16-2013 14:34 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not sure why everyone is concerned about rioting if Zimmerman is found not guilty. No one rioted after OJ got away with murder!!
←Rate | 07-12-2013 08:43 by FLA PAULY Comments (1)  


   messageicon Government opens. Confederate flags at half mast.
←Rate | 10-17-2013 03:43 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Miracle birth AND resurrection! Making Frosty the Snowman my personal savior.
←Rate | 12-22-2013 06:54 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think the country that sells Dolly Madison Pink Frosted Zingers should be preaching about using chemical weapons on people.
←Rate | 09-08-2013 05:21 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Renault and Ford are coming out with a new car. It's a combo of the Clio and Taurus. It's called the Clitaurus. It comes in pink and male thieves won't be able to find it even if someone tells them where it is!!!!
←Rate | 08-12-2012 15:48 by FLA Pauly Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care if this urinal handle is ten feet up.....I'm still flushing with my foot!!
←Rate | 10-31-2012 12:30 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Birthday to John Lennon who would have turned 72 today....Imagine!
←Rate | 10-09-2012 09:24 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


   messageicon FOX NEWS....Rich people paying rich people to tell middle class people to blame poor people.
←Rate | 09-16-2012 17:09 by FLA PAULY Comments (0)  


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