Boo Hiss! Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I've come to a life altering decision. I'm giving up the guitar, and gonna to learn to play that thing in the Ricola commercials.
←Rate | 12-09-2012 21:41 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon The weekend just logged me out due to inactivity.
←Rate | 12-08-2012 19:05 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon Son: Dad, I want a car!" Dad: "Not unless you cut your hair." Son: "Jesus had long hair!" Dad: "Yeah, and he walked everywhere too."
←Rate | 12-25-2012 19:41 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never trust a diet program where the inventor posts only head shots of themselves.
←Rate | 12-10-2012 17:43 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even before my very first birthday I was able to sense it was Christmastime. No...it wasn't Santa, Rudolph, Frosty, Nativity scenes, or a Christmas Tree. It was 'cause my mom put eggnog in my bottle.
←Rate | 12-08-2012 03:22 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon December 7th, 1941. Never forget. I'm boycotting sushi.
←Rate | 12-07-2012 08:19 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm quitting my job as professional fisherman. I can't live on my net income.
←Rate | 12-07-2012 12:06 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon I find nothing more frightening or upsetting than someone saying to me those "three special words"..."Welcome To Tennessee."
←Rate | 12-10-2012 10:30 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon People ask why I get hot women. I do not have a large pen!$...it's small, but it can talk and is very complimentary.
←Rate | 02-09-2013 10:47 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon All these New Year's facebook invites. Go see a $hitty band 2,000 miles away. A smoke filled rednekk bar 1,000 miles away. Or stay home and get sauced with a hot blonde in a Frederick's outfit. What to do what to do....
←Rate | 12-30-2012 10:35 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q: What is the difference between a Hell'$ Angel and Jehovah's Witness? A: The Hell'% Angel comes to your door and tells YOU to "F*&%k Off!!"
←Rate | 01-02-2013 22:53 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a circular driveway put in my front yard. Now I can't get out.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 11:53 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is amazing & really works with ANY age!! Take your age, add two, subtract two. THAT's your age!! CrAzY!!
←Rate | 12-12-2012 14:35 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid, my brother would say stuff to me like, "My mom can be@t up ur mom!"
←Rate | 12-16-2012 08:05 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was the victim of a hispanic drive by. They drove up real close and a guy leaned out the window and cut me.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 15:36 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeah so, the only thing I wrote on your facebook timeline was Happy Birthday!!! I put three exclamation points. What else you want?
←Rate | 12-24-2012 07:56 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hump Day tedium..(Yes, tedium. I don't care about your boring business deal. Unless you won the lottery or Marilyn Monroe came back from the dead to gave you head, your day was tedious.)
←Rate | 01-09-2013 18:33 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


   messageicon This year I'm giving my girl the best Christmas gift ever. Anybody got any tips on how to wrap your b@lls?
←Rate | 12-14-2012 07:32 by Boo Hiss! Comments (0)  


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